You've Got Mail
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Loosely based on the eponymous movie. Jane and Maura are best friends in real life but have no idea that they're falling for each other online. Rizzles endgame (of course). Daily updates.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: New year, new story; one chapter a day and reviews more than appreciated.**

 **Chapter One**

An asshole.

Whoever had invented the concept of new year resolutions was an asshole. As a matter of fact, he – it could only be a man, let's face it – was probably related to whoever had once assumed that if you weren't in a relationship then it meant that something was going wrong in your life. Both guys had too much in common to be strangers to each other. Actually, it may even be one idiot and one idiot only: the same one for both concepts.

Jane rolled her eyes at her computer screen, convinced that the family tree of idiots she had just elaborated in her mind was the exact reflection of reality.

Of course she preferred to not say a word about the easiness with which she had succumbed to all this bullshit as it was more comforting to blame a third party for what she was about to do. She had spent her day off pondering the idea; a complete waste of time under other circumstances but she saw it now as a matter of calendar and nothing else.

If January 1st tended to be oddly quiet, she had learned that January 2nd was pernicious if you weren't working on that day. It seemed like the symbolism of the new year reached its apogea first thing in the morning and you soon found yourself debating ideas in your head, more or less existential ones.

Like whether it was time for you to sign up on a dating website.

Her romantic life had suddenly stopped the moment she had broken up with Casey a year earlier. Nothing had really been easy afterwards but she had now turned the page and was ready to accept someone else in her arms.

There was something appealing in the idea of being single but she knew that it could only be temporary. She wanted to build something with someone. Besides, the fact she would turn forty years old in February had a clear impact on the decision she was about to take: time was running against her, she could feel it.

After an endless internal fight against herself, she had sat down on the couch of her living-room to start a rather hesitant research on Google.

She had immediately discarded the most famous websites, the biggest ones. They looked too impersonal in spite of the beautiful promises that littered their frontpages. Perhaps it was ridiculous but she was looking for something intimate enough, something friendly. It was the first time that she would sign up for an account on such kind of websites and the approach was rather intimidating.

"Intimidating? My ass!" A bitter laugh passed her lips. "It's humiliatin', that's what it really is. Admit it."

 _Boston Loves You_

The name of the website was atrociously cheesy but at least it had the credits to gather Bostonians only which satisfied Jane as she wasn't planning on moving to the other side of the country. She was a Boston girl and would always be one no matter what.

From forums to private profiles, the website seemed to work like any other one. The only thing Jane needed was to sign up and create a profile. It was free of use and she could leave any time.

"Choose your username..." The tiny obstacle almost resulted enough for her to give up. She cast a desperate glance at Jo Friday who was sleeping next to her on the couch. Of course the dog didn't help her much. "Damn."

This part was actually the toughest one as she had to find a name vague enough for people to not guess who she was. Boston was a small city, she would die at the scene if one of her colleagues happened to find out that she had signed up on a dating website. And yet the name had to be personal: it had to reflect who she was.

The buzzing sound of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She grabbed the device then opened the text message that Maura had just sent her: she had just parked at the corner and would be there within a minute now.

"Perfect, really." Just when Jane had finally found the courage to sign up for an account, life waved a sign to tell her that she was running out of time. "Fine..."

Her hands hesitated for a second before running with frenzy on the keyboard. She couldn't help wincing in mental pain as she accepted the terms and sent her request to join. A little voice in her head kept on telling her that she would regret it sooner than later and, for some reason, she was quite eager to agree with this ominous sign.

 _BostonAvenger01_

A moan of despair painfully passed her lips. She shook her head then buried her face in her head. This had to be the lamest username in the whole history of Internet. Who did she think she was? A superhero of some sort?

It would have to do though as Maura would show up within a minute now. She quickly confirmed her account then proceeded to fill the categories at light speed. She was about to proofread her profile when a knock on the door stopped her.

"Gosh." She validated the whole thing, shut down the laptop then hid it under a cushion. "Yeah, I'm here... Hold on a sec'...!"

Jane stood up and tried to sweep away the sentiment of dissatisfaction before the description she had just made of herself online. She walked to the door and opened to Maura.

"It is snowing! Don't you feel like drinking a hot chocolate? I do... Unless you prefer to go to Harvard Square? A snowy day in Boston _has_ to be spent on Harvard Square."

Maura joyfully came in. She trotted to an armchair and set down her winter coat on the arm of the seat. She was in a very good mood and hoped that Jane would not be in one of her grumpy days.

She liked her friend a lot but had a hard time dealing with her pessimistic attitude at times.

"Am I interrupting you? What were you doing?"

They hadn't planned anything special but since Jane had had her day off, Maura had assumed that she would stop by the Back Bay apartment after work as she often did in such circumstances. Jane shrugged away the question before motioning the couch.

"Just... Readin'..."

Maura's enthusiastic nod stopped a bit abruptly. She had followed her friend's dark eyes but hadn't spotted any book on the couch. As a matter of fact, there was nothing on the coffee table either. The room was neat as if Jane hadn't used it yet.

"Is it the book about _The Red Sox_ that I got you for Christmas?"

Jane ran a hand through her hair, not really knowing what to say. She didn't want to lie to Maura yet there was no way she would confess what she had just done either. Her vague nod would hopefully put an end to a delicate conversation.

"It's really a great book. I like it very much." That was the truth. She turned around and walked to the kitchen area. "Do you want a coffee or a hot chocolate?"

It was a bit early for a glass of wine. Obviously Maura hadn't had a tough day and alcohol wasn't needed to forget whatever issues she could have faced at the morgue. Jane grabbed two mugs and chose to prepare them a hot chocolate since her friend had just mentioned the hot beverage.

"So how was school, today?"

Leaned against one of the windows of the living-room, Maura closed her eyes. The image of snow falling outside was still playing in her mind like one of these snow plastic balls you had to shake to recreate a winter landscape.

"Eventless..."

Monotony had its perks but not on a day like this one. A new year had just begun, Maura wanted change and action. Instead, she had spent most of the day revising medical files and booking meetings with different people. She hadn't touched a scalpel at all.

Her work life couldn't become as dull as her private life was. This was something that she couldn't accept. Of course, she enjoyed the Rizzolis and a few social events here and there but it wasn't enough to make her feel complete. Her life once she left the morgue was a tad boring.

A piece of her very own puzzle was currently missing.

"Would you like to go to the movies one of these days? It's been a long time..." It wouldn't really break their routine but spending an evening out was still rather appealing. "You can choose the movie."

Jane raised a playful eyebrow at her friend. Maura's statement had certainly caught her attention as she always had the last word on the movie, or better said independant film, they ended up seeing.

"Even a blockbuster? You're serious?" Jane could hardly remember the last time she had seen a movie with Maura that didn't have subtitles for the original language was some obscure idiom she had never heard about. "An action movie?"

Fear briefly embraced Maura's features. She got tense but did her best to hide it. In vain. Her reaction caused Jane to burst out laughing.

"I was just teasing you..." Jane rolled her eyes and brought the two mugs to the living-room. "I kinda like the weird movies you make me watch." She paused, not entirely ready to assume what she had just said. "Sometimes."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews!**

 **Chapter Two**

"Just a friend."

The statement caused Maura to frown. She didn't particularly like the tone Grace had used even if she knew that her college friend was simply teasing her. A defense mechanism pushed her to sit up on her chair and purse her lips. She grabbed her cup of coffee then pretended to take a sip. Classic subterfuge to win some time.

"Are you suggesting that I _can't help myself_?" Maura's laugh loudly rose, proving Grace that she hadn't taken the remark too badly either. The temperature of her cheeks had reached a new level though and Maura came to the conclusion that she was blushing. "A very good friend. Jane is a very good friend."

Her best friend, as a matter of fact. She usually didn't hesitate over the wording because she was proud of the friendship she shared with Jane. She had been close to Grace during their first years of college but the bond she now had with Jane had very little to do with this medical school friendship.

The intensity of whatever linked her to Jane was such that Maura often thought that they were actual soulmates.

"Is she...?"

A well-known mischievous light flickered in Grace's pale eyes. Maura immediately smiled. She then shook her head at the elusive question and swept it away with a discreet gesture of the hand. There was nothing surprising in Grace's question but the current context imposed a quiet answer.

"No. Or at least not that I know of."

As Grace Middlestone sat further on her seat, Maura realized that her friend hadn't changed much in spite of the passing of time. They hadn't met for the last thirteen years; a whole life, in a word. Yet Grace's attitude was still the same as the one Maura had discovered as a college student. People forgot her effrontery for it was wrapped up by thin layer of a very sharp intelligence, a delicate kindness that you couldn't but succumb to.

"She doesn't know, does she?"

Even now while Grace was forcing her to admit something she wasn't particularly proud of, Maura couldn't be mad at her friend. She had no reason to, anyway. Grace wasn't to blame.

Maura went to put back down her cup of coffee on the table but miscalculated the distance. The contact turned out to be loud; loud and blank. She bit her lower lip and quickly shook her head. She was very glad to see Grace after all these years but there were a few things she wasn't eager to talk about. For a thousand different reasons.

"Oh, Maura..." Grace tilted her head and squinted her gray eyes so much that they almost disappeared behind a curtain of eyelashes. "It is part of who you are. How can you remain quiet over it? You used to be fine with it. Please tell me it hasn't changed."

The words would never come out, Maura knew it. They would stay trapped in her throat for a while before going back down to disappear in her stomach. She had experienced this situation many times in the past.

She and Jane had met five years earlier and if their friendship was the most certain thing Maura currently had in her life, she still had to find a way to let Jane know that she wasn't exclusively attracted to men.

Her incapacity to openly say it was ridiculous. As a matter of fact, she didn't understand why she hadn't found the courage to tell Jane about it. She had never seen it as an issue and she was convinced that Jane wouldn't mind much in the end.

Yet this part of her life desperately remained in the shadows like an embarrassing secret that shouldn't even be one.

"How is Zürich treating you? I can't believe you've been working there for the past six years and I haven't taken the time to visit you yet."

The lack of transition between both topics didn't bother Grace. She didn't insist and accepted Maura's question without complaining. She wouldn't force her friend into anything, it was way too disrespectful.

"Switzerland is desperately Swiss." Grace rolled her eyes but the playful smile that lit up her lips betrayed her inner thoughts. "Life is very pleasant, there. With your parents living in Lausanne, I am surprised you decided to work in America."

Maura pouted. Grace wasn't completely wrong. She had hesitated between Europe and the USA for a while but the doubts she may have had at some point were long gone now.

"I've fallen in love with Boston. I know it's a bit unexpected but I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else in the world right now."

...

Jane had forgotten about the dating website until she had opened her email inbox and had faced a tornado of messages. Once her ego flattered, she had signed in to see whether _Mister 2016_ hid himself in the first round of private messages she had received.

The saddest part was that it had taken her a while to realize that something was going wrong and for the detective she was, she couldn't help thinking that her lack of reaction was embarrassing.

At first she had assumed that the message she had opened simply came from an administrator or even from a moderator who wanted nothing but to welcome her on the website. She had even found it rather nice. It is only after reading five sentences or so that she had understood the person had contacted her with a completely different purpose in mind.

She had come back on her inbox page with the frenzy of someone who senses that something isn't going as it should and had begun to check her messages one by one. The conclusion had been rather evident though incomprehensible enough: only women had decided to contact her.

Her confusion had grown at light speed until she had clicked on the page of her profile to add a picture and try to forget the oddness of the situation. And then she had noticed it. At last.

"Oh fuck." She had selected the 'woman' category instead of the man one, rushed as she had been when she had signed up for an account on the website. "Oh yeah, congrats."

There was nothing dramatic, she could easily change the category. As a matter of fact, this was something she would even be able to laugh about if she ever told someone about it one day.

A strong sentiment of guilt pushed her to go back on her inbox page. She couldn't leave all these messages unanswered. She had to reply to each one of the women who had taken the time to send her a message, even if it was to apologize for her ridiculous mistake.

She was about to click on the very first one when a title caught her attention. The message was lost among a dozen of others and had been sent by a mysterious _Tsiga_Poloth_ , a very curious name that drastically contrasted with the _BostonGirl4ever_ 's and other classic usernames that littered her inbox.

Her curiosity piqued, Jane opened the message and began to read it.

 _Dear BostonAvenger01: you're needed._

 _If there were any John Steed in your life, then this is certainly what he would tell you right now. Isn't it how each episode of The Avengers used to start? These three words resound almost as loudly as the clinking of these glasses of Champagne both protagonists used to drink. Who was your favorite? The slightly naive Tara King? The fearless and oh so independant Emma Peel? Unless you preferred the least known of all: Cathy Gale and her leather outfits?_

 _There is something about Massachusetts that reminds me of England, of its green hills and lovely cottages. It wouldn't be completely improbable to see you drive an Aston Martin (or whatever your favorite racing car is) the way John Steed's female colleagues and partners used to._

 _The Avengers. Such a promising name for a television show, one of the rare from the 60's that dared to show independant women who led a successful professional career._

 _Have a lovely day avenging Boston until the night falls._

Jane blinked. She hadn't read all the messages she had received yet but this one was the first one that wasn't straightforward. As a matter of fact, she could hardly say that _Tsiga_Poloth_ was flirting with her at all.

It sounded more like a strange, mysteriously appealing conversation. A very casual chat.

She came back on her inbox page and proceeded to politely turn down every single woman who had tried to reach her during the past few days. Every single woman but _Tsiga_Poloth_. Jane didn't delete the message either, she simply skipped it and decided that she would reply to it later; differently.

More personally.

Changing to the proper sex category she was interested in barely took her five seconds but something almost immediately pushed her to go for more private settings as well. Her public profile had caused her to receive way too many messages within a short amount of time, after all. A private profile would at least have the credits to stop some members, the laziest ones who were only there for fun.

She checked the time on her watch then grabbed her cell phone before settling further on the pillows of her bed.

 _I'm dying for French fries. See? This is what happens when you force me to eat greens._

She didn't have to wait for too long before getting a reply from Maura. What could she say? They always texted each other at night. The message made her smile.

 _Your arteria will thank me one day._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, I'll try to take your suggestions in account one way or another.**

 **Chapter Three**

Maura trotted on her tiptoes to the stairs. She leaned over and smiled at the peaceful darkness of the first floor. Perfect: Angela had gone to bed. She turned on her heels then trotted back to her bedroom with the satisfaction of someone who knows that nobody is going to interrupt her.

Her late-night checks had become a little ritual now. Angela had never walked in on her but Maura preferred to make sure that she had the house for herself when she wanted to go online. It would have been too long to explain, too hard as well.

She found comfort under her blanket and settled against her large pillows before turning her laptop on. Then the whole machine set off all by itself: her heart began to speed up its pace and by the time she clicked on the right URL, her hands were shaking of excitement. A part of her kept on yelling that her reactions were utterly stupid but the truth was that she couldn't help it. The tiny hope of a reply she had had at first had now turned into the strongest wish she would ever make.

And disappointment incredibly hurt when her inbox remained empty.

Thankfully it wasn't the case tonight. She noticed the message right away among a dozen of others that barely caught her attention for a couple of seconds. She clicked on it and took a deep breath, already enjoying the singular effect words from a stranger could have on her mind.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I like starting my message as if we were already in the middle of a conversation. It gives me the feeling that we have never really ceased to talk to each other. There's something comforting about it, don't you think so?_

 _I read your messages in the morning and always wonder: what is Tsiga_Poloth doing? Of course this is something that I wouldn't question under other circumstances but not knowing your real identity has its charms. It's almost old-fashioned but in the sweetest way ever._

 _It snowed last night. Do you like it too when you wake up in the morning to a desert of ice? Boston looks so different in the winter. The Charles River is asleep and the noises of the city seem to have suddenly preferred a respectful quietness to their usual cacophony. The air is chilly, the ice under my feet accompanies my steps of their singular music and the sun warms up my cheeks._

 _There is something magic in the winter. It makes me feel like taking advantage of the Boston Common ice-rink._

...

"Doesn't Boston look magic in the winter?" Maura's smile lit up her graceful features. A scalpel in her hand, she locked her hazel eyes with her assistant's then shrugged. "I should go ice-skating."

Susie Chang blinked. The bond she had developed with her boss these past few years had taught her many things about Maura but it was the first time that she saw her being so ecstatic about something as random as the weather. Besides, she wasn't sure to share Maura's current point of view as it had heavily snowed during the night which had caused a terrible traffic jam in the morning. Boston was literally upside down.

"Do you need the breadknife?"

Maura's smile slightly froze as she looked down and came to face the open corpse on the metallic table. An autopsy never was a dull moment per se though the patient's death didn't seem suspicious at all this time. By the uncommon size of the heart, it woudn't take Maura very long to come to the proper medical conclusions that her colleagues needed.

At least a crime scene brought a surge of adrenalin to the process. There was something enigmatic that required a very specific concentration as well as the help of a whole team.

The doors of the autopsy room flew open. Maura didn't need to look up to know who had just come in but she nonetheless did if only to have the pleasure to smile back at her friend. Jane cast a very brief glance at the corpse then focused on Maura.

"I've called Tommy and he'll drop off TJ at 2pm at your place on Saturday. Is that okay for you?" The distance she kept with the metallic table was just as respectful as a betrayal of inner feelings: she didn't feel comfortable near a dead body, especially if it wasn't linked to a case she was investigating. "Apparently TJ's big enough to skip his afternoon nap now so we can go to the local fair right away."

Beacon Hill held a fair every year in January. The small event gave local artists the opportunity to show their work in one of the oldest neighborhoods of the city. Jane and Maura often attended it and had decided to treat TJ this year with the different children's workshops the event offered.

"No, 2pm is perfect. Although they can also come over for lunch, what do you think?" It had been a while since the last time Tommy and Lydia had shared a meal at Maura's. She put down her scalpel and grabbed the breadknife Susie was holding instead. "Then they can have some time for themselves while we take TJ to the fair."

They agreed on the idea then Jane left as quickly as she had showed up. Maura hated such moment. Of course, she had never admitted it but her friend's absence always weighed on her shoulders for a while and it took her a lot to focus back on whatever she was doing at the time. Jane's aura was loud and powerful. Addicting somehow.

The rest of the morning followed a rather slow pace and Maura had a hard time repressing herself from rushing to the _Division One Cafe_ for lunch. The last thing she wanted was to look desperate and needy even if it was quite close to the truth in the end.

She waved at Jane from the small table she had chosen for them. It was their favorite one, in a small corner, by one of the large windows. They could observe the frenzy of the street from there and let the minutes pass by until they both had to go back to their respective offices.

"I think I need to buy a new laptop. Mine's going at the pace of a snail, these days."

The remark was rather neutral but it nonetheless caused Maura to raise an eyebrow. She paused then blinked at her friend. Obviously Jane's statement had surprised her a lot more than expected.

"Already? You've bought one last year. I told you to get a _Mac_. I know they're more expensive but the quality is definitely better as well." She brought a fork full of lasagna to her mouth. "What do you do with your laptop? I thought you didn't like being online."

Jane choked on her glass of water. She couldn't blame anyone but herself for Maura's genuine question as she was the one who had started the conversation. She grabbed her paper napkin with a shaking hand then proceeded to clean the mess she had just caused on their tiny table. Not a single word would come to her mind. She didn't know how to reply.

It was a lot more delicate than what it looked: not only had she shamefully signed up on a dating website but she had also started developing an odd friendship with a complete stranger.

A friendship that made her feel very bad towards Maura.

Nothing had changed between the two of them since _BostonAvenger01_ and _Tsiga_Poloth_ had started this peculiar epistolary friendship but for the very first time since she and Maura had met, Jane also talked to someone else. The messages she sent revealed personal thoughts that she had never shared with anyone, not even with Maura whom she considered as her best friend if not just as her soulmate.

The writing aspect helped a lot. Jane's difficulties to express herself out loud found a relief in the virtual messages she sent. Her texts remained very platonic and deprived of real importance but the details she shared with her mysterious online friend were little things that she would never dare to admit in public.

"How is Grace doing? Is she coming back here soon?"

The question was a coward escape but Jane felt sorry to have missed Maura's friend from college. From what Maura had told her, Grace seemed to be a very funny person; very witty. This was something Jane liked a lot in people.

"She said that she would try. It's going to depend on whether Zürich needs her back earlier than planned. She's in Chicago until January, 23rd."

A burning sensation on her cheeks caused Maura to look down to hide her face behind blond curls. She wasn't sure that introducing Jane to Grace was a good idea, especially after the last meal they both had shared. Something told her that Grace would do her best to hint at the only thing Maura still didn't manage to say to her friend.

It would be embarrassing.

"I will let you know, of course." Maura grabbed her glass of water and regretted to not have indulged into red wine instead. Her voice had lowered an octave to emphasize her invisible doubts on the matter. "She's... She's very nice, you know. Just a little straightforward."

An "O" of surprise formed on Jane's lips but soon vanished in a smirk. Grace's temper didn't seem to bother her at all. As a matter of fact, the more Maura talked about her college friend, the more Jane's curiosity seemed to grow. It was fair enough, after all. The friendships Maura had built in the past were rare enough to catch people's attention.

"I already know you rode nude. Seriously, is there any more debauchery I should know about you, Dr. Isles?"

Jane's innocent lightness didn't have the expected effect on Maura who forced a smile then rolled her eyes to win some time. None of this would have happened if she had been honest a long time ago, after all.

"Who knows what kind of college stories I haven't told you about already..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all yur reviews and messages.**

 **Chapter Four**

Jane was running late but she simply couldn't leave home without checking her mailbox first. The feeling that seemed to literally eat her up was strange for someone who had never liked the idea of online interactions. _Tsiga_Poloth_ had become part of her daily life. Whoever was behind this name, this mysterious name Jane had learned to assimilate as the one of a confident, had ceased to be a virtual entity. Her words made sense, they echoed something within Jane and had officially swept away the abstraction of the web to impose themselves in a reality.

Perhaps Jane hadn't found the man of her dreams on _Boston Loves You_ but she surely had come across someone who utterly made sense into her existence. A matter of timing, probably.

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _Do you ever have the feeling that words won't come out? That they stay trapped in your throat and barely manage to brush the edge of your lips before disappearing anew in the depth of your mind? It's immensely frustrating and crushes your self-confidence within a couple of seconds. Then you turn around and leave carrying the silence of your failure._

 _There is someone I know, someone who holds a very important place in my life, to whom I don't manage to talk. I have tried on multiple occasions but for a reason I cannot explain... The words won't come._

 _We are very close. As a matter of fact, I consider this person as my soulmate. We have shared many things and have gone through a lot together these past few years. That's why my incapacity to let her know about certain things doesn't make sense. I guess I am afraid but of what? The question remains unanswered, to be honest._

Jane frowned. It was the first time that her interlocutor alluded to something deeper, something that had little to do with Boston or these little details that made one's life brighter. _Tsiga_Poloth_ was asking for help, if only implicitly.

And Jane didn't know what to do with it.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Are you in love with her? Is it what you don't manage to tell her?_

The question was very direct but Jane didn't see herself using subterfuges of some sort to implicitly ask her online friend about the exact nature of her problem. She had checked _Tsiga_ 's profile more times than she would ever admit but since the man and the woman categories had been picked, romantic feelings weren't to discard for this female third party.

Jane checked her watch. She couldn't stay any longer. Tommy and Lydia had accepted Maura's invitation and she wanted to help her friend prepare lunch. She reluctantly turned her computer off then grabbed her car keys as well as Jo Friday's leash.

Whatever was bothering _Tsiga_Poloth_ , Jane hoped that it could wait until the evening.

...

A huge cotton candy in her hand, Maura happily walked towards Jane and TJ. The fair had turned out to be a huge success: the toddler was ecstatic, his aunt even more as she finally had a reason to take part in children's workshops without feeling guilty.

"Your son's very cute." The young man in charge of the face painting activity motioned Jane who was laughing with TJ on the other side of the table as an art student was applying makeup on the little boy's cheeks. "Or a very cute lion, should I say!"

The allusion to the makeup theme TJ had chosen caused Maura to laugh. She was attending the most joyful chaos that had ever reigned over Beacon Hill. Children were running everywhere, their high-pitched voices melting into the music a band was playing at the very end of the fair.

She hadn't realized it until now but she actually needed the lightness that the moment brought; the touch of innocence that too rarely punctuated her life.

"He isn't my son, actually." An apologetic smile contrasted with the happiness that glimmered in her eyes. "He is my friend's nephew."

If people often assumed that she and Jane were a couple, it was the first time that a potential family was mentioned to her. It didn't bother Maura at all. On the contrary. She took it as a compliment for it mostly emphasized the family spirit she and Jane had naturally built.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were... You know... Together and all." The young man's cheeks had turned red. He was stuttering. "The two of you seemed really close. My bad."

A tiny second of silence floated before Jane's loud voice caused Maura to jump with surprise. She turned her head and looked at her friend, waiting for an explanation to the sudden calling of her name.

"Come over here! I wanna introduce you to our _brave_ lion. See? Dorothy'd have done so much better with him by her side."

The reference to _The Wizard of Oz_ made the young man laugh. Maura excused herself then walked towards TJ and Jane. She knelt down to be at high-level with the little boy and feigned to be extremely impressed.

"Can you roar?"

TJ squinted his eyes and seemed to ponder the question with all the seriousness that only children can show. He finally pursed his lips then gave Maura a brief nod before throwing himself into a more or less convincing imitation of a roaring.

Jane and Maura immediately applauded.

"Impressive! I guess you have indeed deserved your cotton candy." Maura stood back up and gave Jane's nephew the pink cloud of sugar she was holding. God bless Beacon Hill fairs: all the food was oragnic. "What would you like to do, now?"

Jane scanned the square where the fair was hold. They had already gone to most of the old carousels, the coconut shy and the different workshops offered by the local artists. They were carrying a dozen of bags full of presents and artworks made by TJ.

"We could go to the children's bookstore. You know, the one at the corner..." Jane checked the time on her watch. "The owner usually reads stories to the kids at 4.30pm."

Before TJ's excitement at the prospect of having a new activity waiting for him, Maura gladly nodded at Jane and walked towards the aforesaid bookstore; a rather old one that seemed to survive in the middle of the discount, business-oriented big store invasion that kept on reigning over Boston.

They came back home around 6pm just on time to offer Tommy and Lydia a last cup of coffee before them to go back to their own place. Maura forced a smile as Jane closed the door behind her. She dreaded the silence that would follow. She lived in a big townhouse, every single room was made for life. Instead she spent most of her days alone in the immensity of a silence that weighed too much on her heart at times.

She wanted Jane to spend the night over. She needed her friend's presence by her side.

"I guess TJ enjoyed his day with us." It wasn't more of a remark than a mere statement to defy the sudden quietness of the living-room. Maura poured two cups of coffee then brought them to the couch where Jane was now sitting. "What a lovely day."

Jane accepted the hot beverage and took a long sip of it. Maura was right. As a matter of fact, time had literally flown by. She had enjoyed the afternoon just as much as her nephew had had.

"I. Am. Exhausted."

Jane stretched out her legs and winced in pain. Of course, her reaction was a tad exaggerated but she knew that it would make Maura smile and it was all what mattered to her in the end. There was something unique in these moments Jane spent with her friend. Life turned easier by then, lighter.

"You can take a bath, if you want. I can prepare you one." Maura ran her tongue over her lips and pondered the words she had just pronunced. Was her desire to not be alone tonight too evident? "It'll be better for your legs than the shower you have at your apartment."

It was tempting, very tempting. Besides, nobody was waiting for Jane at her Back Bay apartment. Outside of _Tsiga_Poloth_ and their daily correspondence, her private life was dull when Maura wasn't around. She wondered if her online friend had replied to her, if she had explained what really bothered her.

Yet it was something that she could check from her cell phone.

"That's a deal." She nodded at nobody but herself before winking at Maura. "But I can get that bath ready all by myself. This way I know I'll avoid a private Yo-Yo Ma concert."

If the dating website had turned out to have more importance in her life than Jane had assumed at first, she nonetheless didn't see it as a priority either. Her anonymous friend played a role in her existence but she would never overshadow Maura. This was impossible. The moment Jane had understood all of this, she had felt relieved and her guilt had immediately vanished.

It was okay. She could have an online confident and still feed herself of this delicate bond she and Maura shared. Her life hadn't been altered by the appearance of _Tsiga._ Nobody suffered from it.

Jane closed the bathroom door, got undressed then settled in the tub with her cell phone in hand. Little did she know that on the first floor, Maura had just turned her laptop on to check her mailbox.

From _Tsiga_Poloth_ to _BostonAvenger01_ , from _BostonAvenger01_ to _Tsiga_Poloth_. The ballet of messages resumed in the quietness of a peaceful evening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all your reviews.**

 **Chapter Five**

Maura sighed. A thick veil of remorse had started weighing on her mind just after she had sent the message to _BostonAvenger01_ , the one that talked about her incapacity to express some things properly and out loud.

 _Born and raised in Boston_

 _Curious mind_

 _Sport fan_

It was the second line of the description that had caught her attention when she had gone through her online friend's portrait for the first time. The association of both words was rare enough on _Boston Loves You_ to not ignore it right away.

She hadn't been very direct in her first message. As a matter of fact, this was an attitude that she didn't like. Of course, a one-night stand from time to time wasn't to discard but she honestly wanted to know the person a minimum before engaging in something more intimate than a casual online chat.

 _Curious mind_

She didn't know _BostonAvenger01'_ s identity but the analysis of the messages they had sent each other, as well as the brief description of the portrait, had nonetheless led her to draw some conclusions already: _BostonAvenger01_ was loyal, concise and efficient. She also expressed herself in a very personal way that betrayed a latent fragility Maura liked a lot.

They had begun to chat three weeks earlier now but hadn't planned on meeting for real any time soon. They weren't ready for it. Not just yet.

"And even less now." Maura rolled her eyes before burying her face in her hands. "You're stupid, incredibly stupid."

She shouldn't have alluded to something as delicate and personal as the difficulties she tended to face to let Jane know that she was also attracted to women. It was too deep for the conversation she shared with _BostonAvenger01_. She had also noticed the change of categories and couldn't help wondering now if it had anything to do with her. She was certain that the woman behind the computer had picked the woman category at first. What had happened that she had suddenly changed her mind?

 _BostonAvenger01_ had been kind enough to offer a semblance of advice but Maura had the feeling that it had been forced. She had ruined everything.

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I think I have found the best chowder spot in town. It is a very little restaurant located in the Seaport district, so tiny actually that it took me a while to find it. There are only four tables inside and an old bar counter. It doesn't look friendly at all but the moment you walk in, the spirit of Boston wraps you up and you succumb to the old charm of another time._

 _This is why I love this city so much. It has a soul, a very old one. It is bruised and flawed, a bit abrupt at times, but I guess this is where the secret of its beauty lies. It carries the weight of the past, the taste of tolerance and the strong shadow of a future we hope bright._

She had hesitated for quite a while when _BostonAvenger01_ had asked her to be more specific about the nature of the things she didn't manage to say out loud and confusion had risen within her mind: her hesitation didn't make sense for she was simply unable to say that she was bisexual.

There was no love, no hope for any kind of romantic relationship with Jane. Nothing like that at all. The innocent question had stirred up a sensation that she didn't manage to understand.

Everything looked blurry, uncertain.

"Stop overthinking so much." The mantra didn't really help. Frustration started boiling in her stomach. She rubbed her temples and tried to focus on her breathing to calm down a bit. "Seize the day, Maura."

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Have you managed to tell your friend all these untold things that are eating you up? I guess I know what you are talking about. I wasn't too sure at first but your message made me realize that I didn't necessarily find myself in a very different situation at times._

 _Nobody knows I've signed up on this website for instance, nobody knows about our chats. It's my little secret but the truth is that I wouldn't mind sharing it with others at times..._

 _Because it makes me happy, you make me happy. A lot. Unexpectedly._

 _What if we finally met?_

Jane winced in mental pain as she clicked to send her message. _Tsiga_Poloth_ was online, she could see the green light next to the name. It wouldn't take her long to read the message and try to understand the underlying tone of the missive.

An underlying tone Jane didn't assume at all.

She wasn't flirting with this woman yet this was exactly what her words betrayed right now. Somehow. Anxiety caused her body to start shaking uncontrollably. As a matter of fact, her message sounded a bit too desperate now that she thought about it. They had no reason whatsoever to meet: chatting online was enough, it had to be. Besides _Tsiga_ had preferred to move and talk about something else. Jane should have respected it instead of insisting so much on it.

...

"What are you reading?"

Maura looked up from the publication she was holding and delicately locked her eyes with Jane's dark ones. She made some room on the couch next to her so her friend could sit down.

"A rather interesting article about the evolution of epistolary correspondences and how the virtual messages we now send have replaced the letters we used to write."

"Is it ahem..." Jane cleared her voice. The irony of the situation made her feel rather uncomfortable. "Is it any good?"

A phone rang somewhere in the background. Maura waited for an employee to take the call before answering Jane. She tilted her head then ran her tongue over her lips. The gesture emphasized a very moderate enthusiasm.

"Going from sending letters to using an impersonal keyboard... Something has got lost, let's face it. I have a hard time picturing out the _Marquise of Merteuil_ sending a mail to _Valmont_."

The remark caused Jane to giggle. She hadn't expected Maura to make fun of a literary topic. Her friend had a singular sense of humor, rare but sharp. She loved it.

"The best example of the epistolary novel genre, hmm? That'd be a cool remake though: a crossover between _You've Got Mail_ and _Dangerous Liaisons_. Not sure Malkovich'd sign in but..." She shrugged as her lips curled up in a smirk. "Who knows?"

Maura shut down her magazine then set it down on the coffee table. She cast a brief glance at the clock on the wall: it was 6pm. Friday night.

"Are you over?"

Jane had sent her a very short text message to let her know that she wouldn't finish work at 5.30pm as planned. Maura didn't mind. She could wait for her friend at her office before heading together at the _Dirty Robber_ to celebrate the long awaited weekend.

"Yes! Let's have this beer, now."

The smoothness of their interactions had been empowered by the afternoon they had spent at the fair with TJ. Something had happened that day, something that had had a very positive impact on their already unique friendship. They were doing fine, exceptionally fine.

Maura grabbed her coat then playfully smiled at Jane as they both headed towards the door of her office.

"Only one beer? Are you sure that you're fine? You rarely have just one on Friday nights." There was nothing patronizing in her tone of voice. It was pure teasing, innocent teasing. "I suddenly feel concerned."

"We have to make sure one of us won't slip and fell in the snow when we leave the bar. I know you're stuck in the basement but I can tell ya it's been snowin' quite hard this afternoon. This winter's just..."

Maura raised an eyebrow as her curiosity got piqued.

"Winter-ish?"

The word seemed to slowly embrace her lips before hitting the air, wrapped in an unexpected sultry voice that almost sounded inappropriate. Under other circumstances, people would have said that she was flirting with Jane.

She wasn't though. She knew it.

It was just the way they were, the way they behaved when together. Her office plunged in the dark as she turned the lights off. She closed the door then passed her arm under Jane's. A lab employee walked past them and politely wished them to have a nice weekend.

They left. Hand in hand.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to..._

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _I would be very pleased to meet you. Just tell me where, and when. Then I'll be there._

Jane swallowed hard. Thankfully she hadn't had time to send her message. The cursor was still dancing its little waltz at the end of the sentence she hadn't finished yet.

 _Tsiga_Poloth_ wanted to meet her. The suggestion hadn't scared her in spite of its rushed-in character.

A storm of feelings prevented Jane from moving. She was going to meet her friend, her mysterious friend. When? And why? The thought of Maura tightened an unpleasant grip on her heart. As long as the friendship with _Tsiga_ remained virtual, Jane didn't have the feeling to be cheating on her friend.

But the sudden possibility to leave behind a world of virtuality completely changed the rules of a game Jane wasn't sure to handle very well.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Thank you very much for the reviews and messages (no sé cuantos capitulos me quedan por escribir, lo siento); I'll try to reply to the PMs later on.**

 **Chapter Six**

"Where do you live again?"

Jane barely heard the question. She had lost focus the moment Grace had folded her endless legs to reveal a perfect left thigh. There was something shamefully hypnotizing about the way her skirt delicately went up her leg.

When Maura had told Jane that she would finally meet her college friend, Jane had had a hard time holding back her excitement. She had spent the next three days fantasizing about Grace's figure. Was she blond? Tall? Since Maura had never given her a proper physical description, a multitude of possibilites had risen within Jane's mind.

And there they were now.

Grace was just as elegant as Jane had imagined her to be. She simply hadn't assumed that such aura of femininity could be so tantalizing. As a matter of fact, she now felt completely inferior to the two other women who were in the room.

Grace and Maura belonged to the same category of women: their sex appeal was evident and highlighted a self-confidence that was foreign to Jane's own world. They were actual women when Jane was sentenced to be a girl for the rest of her life.

Standing in the same room with them was rather intimidating.

"I live in Boston." The ridiculousness of her answer caused her to blush. She couldn't lose control of the situation or else Grace would start wondering why Maura had ever decided to become friend with her. "I mean in Back Bay. Do you know the area?"

The pout Grace offered Jane led her to the conclusion that Maura's friend was a seductress. Her behavior was harmless and absolutely not driven by any sexual purpose but she liked it when people fell under her charm one way or another.

And it worked.

"I don't think I do, actually. Is it a nice neighborhood, like Beacon Hill?"

The answer didn't surprise Jane much. Even if she had attended college in Boston, Grace didn't have any reason to know Back Bay. It wasn't a neighborhood students used to go. Even less two decades ago. She evasively shrugged then took a sip of her beer.

"Copley Square's where you'll find some of the most beautiful Bostonian buildings like... The McKim Building, for instance. And the J. Hancock Tower which is the tallest building of the city."

Grace widened her eyes in pleasure. A sensual smile played on her lips and lit up her graceful features. She slightly leaned over, ready to share something intimate with Jane.

"Fascinating."

Jane blinked. The possibility she had misdjuged Grace's intentions was slowly creeping into her mind. Was Maura's friend chatting her up? A furtive glance at the stairs betrayed her sudden nervousness. Maura had left to change an eternity ago. Her absence started worrying Jane. She needed Maura next to her and now.

"And you're... You're living in Switzerland, right?"

Rhetorical question. Jane knew that Grace lived in Zürich. As a matter of fact, this was pretty much the only piece of information Maura had shared with her about her college friend.

Something told Jane that Grace wasn't married, that she didn't have children either. But this was just the fragile result of a guessing game.

"Here I am!" Maura's voice echoed a relief Jane barely felt hiding. She rushed down the stairs then trotted to the living-room where her guests were politely waiting for her. "Is everything alright?"

The nod Jane gave turned out to be one of the most timid ones of her existence. Not really knowing what to say, she preferred to hide her confusion regarding Grace behind her bottle of beer. If Maura's college friend didn't change her attitude then Jane would need a lot more than just one bottle of _Blue Moon_.

...

"You tortured her, didn't you?" Maura snorted. "I knew that I shouldn't have left the two of you alone. Oh, Jane isn't the issue: _you_ are. You're the one I can't trust." A nostalgic smile echoed the reminiscence of a thousand anecdotes Maura had almost forgotten. They were all coming back to her now. "Back Bay? You don't know Back Bay? Really?"

Grace apologized in a whirl of laughter. She looked up at the ceiling of _Logan International_ then winked at Maura. Her carefree attitude contrasted with her friend's slightly anxious state of mind.

"Just don't tell her my parents used to live on Copley Square and everything will be fine." Grace ran a hand through her hair then held back a yawn. "I was testing her. No big deal... I didn't traumatize her, did I?"

No, she hadn't. Yet the moment she had left, Jane had asked Maura through half-words if Grace was into women because the conversation they had shared had been carried by a very peculiar vibe.

"Go before I kill you."

They hugged, promised each other that they wouldn't wait for ten years to meet again then Maura watched how Grace disappeared behind the doors of her terminal. With her friend gone, she would embrace anew the routine of her life: work, evenings with Jane and conversations with _BostonAvenger01_. She had tried to not obsess over it but meeting her online friend within the next few days made her slightly nervous.

What if they didn't have anything to say to each other? Maura's fear didn't necessarily make sense but some people were made for a correspondence, not for sharing a coffee; not for a real face-to-face. Yet if she had to be honest with herself, the fact she and her online friend could hit it off worried her a lot more in the end. What would she tell Jane, then? They had a very exclusive relationship. It didn't allow anyone else in.

She drove back to Boston in a complete silence, trying to not succumb too easily to all these thoughts that made her heart beat faster for wrong reasons only.

 _Are you home?_

She had parked even before getting a reply from Jane. It was almost 8pm and Maura didn't feel like going back to her place. She didn't know what was going on but she had needed Jane's presence at night a lot more these past few weeks. The comfort her friend implicitly brought her swept away the clouds of doubts that overshadowed her life.

 _Yep, feel free!_

Jane welcomed the idea of spending the evening with Maura with a barely contained joy. She and _Tsiga_ had talked earlier in the morning and she didn't plan on going back online for now.

She quickly picked up the clothes abandoned on the couch and proceeded to throw them in her closet. Her apartment wasn't particularly clean but it would do it. She had just taken a bottle of wine out of the fridge when the door opened. She smiled at her friend, not hiding an ounce of the happiness Maura's presence brought her.

"Is she gone?"

Maura took her winter coat off. She hung it on the coat rack then freed her feet from her stilettos. A sigh of relief accompanied the gesture. She walked barefoot to the kitchen and helped Jane with the wine.

"She is... It was nice seeing her again after all these years; strange but pleasant." Strange? The choice of adjective confused Maura. She cleared her voice, hoping it would sweep away the feeling of discomfort that had just passed underneath her skin. She then raised her glass to make a ficticious toast. "Is there anything on television tonight?"

Once, her mother had gently mocked the conversations she had with Jane. With this nonchalant air that defined Constance so well, the artist had stated that Maura and Jane were just as domestic as a married couple. If Maura had feigned to look offended by then, she now agreed with her mother.

But the truth was that she loved it and she knew that Jane loved it too.

"If your question doesn't include the possibility of a sport answer then I'm afraid I don't know. Let's check. There gotta be something among the zillion networks we now have access to."

A quiet evening, exactly what Jane needed. They agreed on a thriller even if the lack of realism tended to go on their nerves then didn't even question the fact Maura would spend the night over. It just made sense, there was no need to overthink it.

They turned the lights off and let the night do its trick, closing the distance they had consciously kept between each other at first only to wake up in each other's arms the next morning. It happened so often, almost every single time they shared a bed.

Yet this was something neither of them was eager to talk about.

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I woke up this morning to a tiny sound, one I couldn't really identify. I rolled on my side and looked in the direction the sound seemed to come from. A squirrel was standing on the windowsill. For a brief moment our eyes met and time seemed to get suspended. Then something must have scared my morning companion because it flew away at light speed. It's the first time a squirrel comes so close to the place where I live. I got up in a good mood._

 _It snowed again. Maybe I will follow your advice and go take advantage of Boston Common ice-rink. It has been a while... We shouldn't postpone activities that make us happy._


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all your reviews!**

 **Chapter Seven**

The WIFI wouldn't work. Jane cast a glance at the code she had just entered on her tablet and frowned. She hadn't missed any character. She stood up and motioned the electronic device to Frost with a barely contained frustration.

"It's slow... I'm going to the bathroom in the meantime. The mail will pop up, just open it and download the document. Then we'll see what we can get out of it."

They had been out and about all morning long, investigating a case that shared points in common with an old one that remained unsolved until now. Lieutenant Cavanaugh was supposed to have sent them the documents they had asked for and both colleagues had decided to take advantage of their lunch break at some diner to check them together.

As announced, a popping sound caused Frost to grab the tablet to check the mail Jane had just received. Without checking the name of the sender, the young detective opened the message and started reading.

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I wish real life were as easy as the virtual one is. Everything is deprived of problems here, it is quiet and peaceful._

 _I lead a contradictory existence. I love my job and I am surrounded by a group of people who mean everything to me but there is a part of me that cannot be completely satisfied. I don't know why... It mostly happens at night when I am about to go to sleep. Do you ever feel lonely by then? Almost useless?_

 _The sentiment that something is missing within me is growing stronger and stronger and makes me feel guilty because I have absolutely everything to be happy._

 _Yet I am not. Not really, not entirely._

 _There is this..._

"So what does it say?" Jane sat back on her seat and leaned over to check the mail. Her friendly smile froze, carried by a sudden storm of anxiety. This had nothing to do with Cavanaugh's documents, nothing at all. "What..."

Frost looked almost as surprised as she was. He had barely read the first paragrah of _Tsiga_ 's message and now felt like dying at the scene. He knew that he what he had just read was personal. Yet it was an accident. At no moment had he wanted to violate Jane's privacy. With his heart pounding loudly in his chest, he tried to focus on the other side of the room and started stuttering.

"I'm sorry, I thought... I mean... It'd popped up and..."

Jane kept on staring at her tablet. She was mortified for her secret, her shameful secret, had just been discovered in the dumbest way ever. Of course, she wasn't mad at Frost but the embarrassment she felt was such that she couldn't say a single word.

"You've met someone?"

The question hit the air with a graceful delicacy, a honest respect and maybe an ounce of happiness too. Frost took a deep breath then forced himself to properly look at Jane.

"Or you're going as a lesbian undercover again?"

And failed.

Jane rolled her eyes for a dramatic effect but the smile that lit up her features swept away the idea that she would have taken the comment badly.

...

"Okay."

Jane waited for Frost to develop his thinking but nothing else came up. An apologetic, forceful smile played on her lips.

She had decided to tell him the truth. If there was someone whom she could trust then it had to be her colleague, after all. She knew that he wouldn't mock her. Of course, she could have lied but she was convinced that she would have felt bad afterwards. Perhaps it was just a sign life was sending her and it was time for her to face the whole thing.

The story was quite simple anyway, even in spite of its unusual character.

"What does she look like?"

The question took her aback. This wasn't the kind of remarks she had expected.

She grabbed her tablet then feverishly opened the page to _Tsiga_ 's profile. The picture the woman had chosen didn't reveal much of her figure for the photographer had zoomed on her shoulder before using an x-ray filter. As a matter of fact, every member or so – Jane included – had used a profile picture that remained somehow anonymous.

It was safer; coward but safer.

"Ahem... There it says she's blond and all." Jane pointed out the categories _Tsiga_ had chosen to physically describe herself. "Blond with green eyes... 5'5."

In a word, _Tsiga_ looked like a thousand other women.

"You have a thing for blondes." Frost laughed at his own remark. He grabbed his glass of water then took a sip before raising a mischievous eyebrow at a silent Jane. "Don't you?"

Bad timing. A waitress had just approached them to know if everything was alright. She immediately left again whispering inaudible apologies. Jane's cheeks began to burn. She looked down at the table and clenched her teeth hoping her dark curls would hide her sudden blushing.

"I. Am. Not. Into. Girls." She had made sure to insist on the accidental part of her story. At no moment had she tried to flirt with women. It was a matter of circumstances. "We're just friends... And what do ya mean I'm into blondes? I don't walk around with a gang of blondies!"

The remark caused Frost to smile. He wasn't joking at her. As a matter of fact, he was being quite serious. He rolled his eyes then made a vague gesture of the hand supposed to explain his thoughts.

"Dr. Isles? She's blond too, with green eyes. This _Tsiga_ sort of looks like her. I mean, they're the same kind. It's funny."

Jane blinked. This was something she hadn't thought about at all. But then having the same eye and hair color didn't necessarily mean that two people looked like each other. She had described herself as a brunette, for instance. All the brunettes weren't each other's lookalikes.

"Maura and I aren't dating so I'm not into blondes."

The timid pout that embraced Frost's lips let Jane understand that her colleague didn't seem to share her point of view. The implicit disagreement stirred up a wave of anxiety within herself. She straightened up and clenched her fists. She had always hoped that Frost would know better than to give in the rumors going on at the BPD about her and Maura. He was close to both of them, after all.

"Maura and I don't sleep together." Jane had leaned over and had murmured her statement as low as her voice allowed her to. With her hands resting face down on the table, she looked like she was about to jump to Frost's throat. "We're not lovers."

Her attempt of intimidation didn't work at all. Frost's casualness contrasted with her visible anxiety. He put down his fork and knife against his plate then shrugged away his colleague's remark.

"Two people can date without having sex, just like two people can have sex without dating. Don't be so... Close-minded."

Surprise pushed Jane to properly sit back on her seat. The timidity she had felt at first was gone now. She locked her eyes with Frost's and pursed her lips. She perfectly understood what her friend meant and that was the issue.

"Maura... Maura's just my friend, my _best_ friend. We spend a lot of time together because we enjoy each other's presence, because we... Because we have nobody else." The confession was cruel yet true. Sadly Jane didn't like the tone she was using. She sounded like she was on the defensive. "Maura... She'd never sign up on a dating website to start with. She's not that desperate nor stupid."

Her words passed her lips with all the harshness of a self-frustration Jane had hold back for too long. She honestly thought what she had just said though: only people in distress decided to give it a chance to a virtual place to meet someone.

Maura wasn't like that. Besides, she was too asocial to even think about it in the first place.

Jane noticed how Frost's features had suddenly deepened. She squinted her eyes at him to try to understand what was going on, what she had just missed. Had she upset him? And if so why? How?

It hit her like a ton of bricks. A hand on her mouth to stifle a scream of surprise, she widened her dark eyes and gasped.

"Oh my god. You're on a dating website too."

Touché. Frost grabbed his paper napkin and proceeded to fold it to hide better a sudden nervousness. In vain. His gesture actually did nothing but betray his inner feelings.

"Nothing ventured nothing gained as the saying goes."

Jane pondered the remark. Her colleague was right. She didn't mean to mock him anyway. How could she, since she happened to be in the same situation? It was simply rather unexpected. Thankfully they hadn't tried to flirt with each other online. That would have been traumatizing.

"I haven't met any _Tsiga_ though... And I don't have any Maura. Unlike you." Frost had listened to Jane's uncertainties with patience and respect. She hadn't come to any conclusion yet when a couple of things nonetheless seemed so clear. He wouldn't rush her into things though as she had to follow her own pace. "You're lucky, Jane. Don't screw it."

Jane nodded but preferred to remain silent. She didn't have anything to add anyway and hiding behind a sarcastic remark was out of the question. She didn't need to, not anymore. Not with Frost.

"So tell me again..." Frost cleared his voice. "Where are you going to meet _Tsiga_ again?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews (I've been too busy to reply to the PMs so far but I promise I'll do it soon).**

 **Chapter Eight**

"Are you nervous?"

Jane shrugged away the question but remained silent. There was a reason why she had asked Frost to come with her in the first place. The fact her friend had found out about her online secret had turned out to be better than what she had imagined. At least now she had someone she could rely on, someone who understood what she was going through.

"It's gonna be alright." Frost preferred to not insist on the oddness of the situation. Nobody freaked out at the prospect of meeting a friend. A potential lover however... Yet he knew that Jane was not ready to hear it. "The two of you are simply gonna chat and have a good time. No big deal."

Jane nodded but kept on focusing on the asphalt her steps were now swallowing. The day she was supposed to meet _Tsiga_Poloth_ had finally come. She would walk in this little cafe she had chosen within a few minutes now then she would put a face on a username. A hundred questions still remained unanswered but Jane knew that they were only brought up by an important level of stress: everything would vanish as soon as she and _Tsiga_ would start talking.

"How are you supposed to recognize each other? Have you sent her a picture of you?" Frost buried his hands in the pockets of his winter coat. The wind was particularly chilly tonight. "She won't be waiting for you with a rose on top of a book, will she?" His laugh froze as soon as Jane's features deepened in mental pain. "You're kidding..."

It was cliché and Jane knew it. Yet it made sense for they had talked a lot about literature lately. _Tsiga_ had told her that she had a soft spot for Asian authors. Jane had desperately tried to read one of the recommended novels but the slow pace of the plot had killed her. She hadn't dared to say it to her online friend though. She didn't want to upset her.

"Listen, Frostie: I asked you to come with me just... You know, you'll scout for me." A heavy sighed passed Jane's lips. "You'll tell me what she looks like and... And then we'll see."

A strong guilt tightened a conscious grip on Jane's mind. The words she had just pronounced were extremely shameful. She was betraying _Tsiga_ 's honesty. She shouldn't care about someone's looks. The truth was that she enjoyed talking to her online friend and nothing else should even matter.

As a matter of fact, nothing else really mattered. _Tsiga_Poloth_ could have had one eye only and a leg and a half that Jane was fine with it. Her sudden so-called concerns simply emphasized her latent anxiety before what was about to happen. It was the first time Jane was going to meet someone she had only talked to online; her lack of experience related to this kind of situation caused her to feel very shy and insecure.

"There it is."

Jane quickly motioned the door of the small cafe then made a step backwards. Tinsels were glimmering in the darkness of the early evening, bringing a magical spirit to the place. She had chosen this cafe because it was quiet enough, perfect for a chat by the fireplace.

A very winter-ish spot in Boston.

"Okay, let me see." Frost nodded then closed the distance that separated him from the door. He squinted his eyes, looking for a woman with a book and a rose. "It's crowded in there."

The snappy remark Jane felt the urge to say vanished somewhere between her throat and her lips. Frost was nice enough to play along her ridiculous little game. She couldn't be nasty with him.

"Do you... Do you see her?"

A couple walked past them on the street. The man stared at Frost as if the young detective had lost his mind. Jane couldn't blame the stranger: what kind of person literally glued himself to a door like that?

"I see a blonde and she's very pretty... But she has no book with her." Frost raised an apologetic hand then focused back on his task. It didn't take him long to finally spot a table on the right. "Ah. Now I see a book with a rose on top of it. It has to be it. It has to be your friend."

Jane's heart skipped a beat. She had never experienced such stressful situation before. Adrenalin rushed through her veins but prevented her from walking to the door.

"So?" Her voice was shaking. "How is she?"

Frost's silence was very confusing. She had hoped that her friend's presence would soothe her anxiety but it absolutely didn't work right now.

"Someone's hiding her... Oh wait, the guy's going away." Frost subconsciously held his breath as the stranger moved on his left to reveal what the person who was sitting at the table looked like. "Oh."

"Oh? What do you mean by 'oh'? Is she Aileen Wuornos' lookalike or something?" There would have been nothing more ironical than Jane making friend with someone who looked a lot like a serial killer. "Why the 'oh' reaction? Why? She's not... She's not pretty?"

After long seconds of silence, Frost finally turned around to look at Jane. A veil of uncertainty had spread over his features: he looked very torn.

"She's pretty, she's... I mean... You think Dr. Isles is pretty, don't you?"

The question took Jane aback. She had desperately tried to not think too much about her best friend if only to avoid the incomprehensible guilt she was feeling towards her. Frost's remarks didn't make sense. She felt lost, completely lost.

"Why are you talking about Maura? Yes, she's pretty. Of course, she is... But why on Earth are you alluding to her now?"

Frost ran his tongue over his lips, a gesture that sharply betrayed the storm of doubts that was now happening in his head. His dark eyes stopped one more time, very briefly, on the woman inside the cafe. He then turned back to Jane and shrugged apologetically.

"If you don't find Dr. Isles good-looking then you won't like her." The pause he marked only caused Jane to widen her eyes with great confusion. "Because it is Dr. Isles. It is... It is Maura."

Jane blinked and pondered for a brief second the tiny possibility her colleague was simply making fun of her. Sadly Frost looked very serious. She walked to the door, looked inside and felt how the world suddenly stopped turning.

She cast a last glance at Frost then walked away in an icy silence.

...

She wouldn't come. Maura cast a desperate glance at the clock on the wall and swallowed hard. _BostonAvenger01_ wouldn't come. Maura wasn't one to trust her instinct but the delicate excitement she had felt all day long at the prospect of meeting her online friend was cruelly vanishing as the seconds were passing by and that nobody was showing up.

"Would you like another cup of tea?"

The waitress' smile hit Maura's heart with an unexpected strength. Unable to turn down the offer, she quietly nodded then focused back on the door. People were coming and going but none of them seemed interested in the book and the rose she had set down on her table.

Thankfully, she didn't know any of the customers or else she would have died at the scene.

"Oh God." Maura's heart froze the moment she saw Jane walk in. What had she done to deserve this? "Shit."

Of course, her friend immediately spotted her by the fireplace and walked towards her. A timid smile of surprise was playing on her lips.

"Enjoyin' a late-night cup of tea?" As much as Jane tried to calm her heartbeats, her voice kept on shaking. She sat down at Maura's table and let her eyes stare at the Asian novel; at the rose on top of it. "Cute bookmark, very... Natural."

Maura was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Of all people, Jane was the last one she wanted to see here. She felt bad enough for not having told her about _BostonAvenger01_ , and about this stupid secret that was eating her up too.

"I didn't know that you liked this place."

Fair question.

"I was just walking on the street and decided to stop by." The lie burnt Jane's lips. A curtain of invisible tears caused her sight to turn blurry. She swallowed hard. "Any drink recommendation?"

Maura cast a brief glance at the door as it opened: a man came in, feeding a bit more her painful disappointment. She forced a smile at Jane then vaguely motioned the cup of tea that the waitress had just brought her.

"It's a lovely place, I should come more often." Jane turned around and ordered the same tea as the one Maura was drinking to the waitress who was busy cleaning another table. "Do you mind if I stay with you?"

The question was the strangest one for Jane never had to ask such thing to Maura. And vice-versa. They implicitly knew that it was alright, that they could show up in each other's life any time.

Except Jane knew that Maura was supposed to wait for someone; someone else. Someone who wouldn't come.

"Of course not." A fragile smile lit up Maura's upset features. She grabbed Jane's hand that was resting on top of the table and held it tightly. "Please stay with me."

Her statement echoed a distress in disguise both pretended to not hear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: Thank you very for the reviews.**

 **Chapter Nine**

Jane avoided as much as possible the reflection of her face in the mirror of her bathroom. Her shame and confusion were such that she didn't want to see her very own eyes. As a matter of fact, she had forgotten to the notion of courage: life had turned blank, incomprehensibly blank. Blank and cold.

Too many things refused to make sense right now. Her brain didn't manage to focus on one element to analyze it then draw the required conclusions the situation imposed. It wasn't delicate but terrifying, and bitterly ironical.

She had wondered on her way back home what the probabilities were that Maura could be _Tsiga_Poloth_. Jane had never liked mathematics but something told her that the chances were thin if not almost inexistant. The revelation had hit her like a ton of bricks. She couldn't even put a name on all these feelings that had passed underneath her skin the moment she had seen Maura waiting for her at the cafe.

Alone. Poor Maura.

 _Tsiga_Poloth_ , an anagram for pathologist. It had barely taken Frost three seconds to find it when she, Jane, had remained clueless about it for weeks.

Yet even if the username now made sense, the rest absolutely didn't. From Maura signing up on a dating website to her more or less surprising bisexuality, Jane didn't know what to think about her friend anymore. The only comforting point was that she didn't have to feel guilty anymore for the friendship she had developed online.

Sort of.

The truth was that her guilt now found its source somewhere else: in the silence she had kept about her virtual identity.

She hadn't told Maura. She hadn't told her anything. How could she? The shock of the revelation hadn't faded away yet the next morning. Jane needed time to process everything. A lot of time.

Trying to ignore the deep disappointment Maura must have felt for not seeing _BostonAvenger01_ show up, Jane grabbed Jo Friday's leash then motioned the door to the dog. A bit of fresh air would come in handy.

Of course, it was the day she needed to focus on anything but her private life that she didn't have to go to work. Thus she would have all the time in the world for this work of introspection she feared so much.

She stepped out of her building and looked on her left.

It hadn't snowed during the night but the sidewalks were still covered by a rather impressive layer of whiteness. The dark nuances of asphalt showing here and there were icily glimmering under the sunlight. Jane closed her eyes for a couple of seconds then took a deep breath. The chilly air burnt her lungs but stirred up a smile on her lips.

She would do just fine. She and Maura would do just fine. Neither of them was sick nor in danger, after all. She had to stop worrying. It wasn't as bad as it looked on the paper.

On the contrary.

Maybe it was just life telling her that it was time to find the courage to face a couple of things, to take decisions and finally put words on a whole series of elements that she had kept untold and silent until now.

Maybe.

...

"Oh my God... She stood you up?!"

Maura rolled her eyes and buried her face in her hands to stifle a moan of slight despair. She shouldn't have let Grace know about what had happened the evening before but then her friend had been too smart and she had guessed that something was going on within a minute after starting their Skype session.

There was something comforting in the idea of being able to talk about it to someone anyway, Maura couldn't but admit it. It was relieving, especially after the way everything had turned the evening before.

"Maybe she saw me and preferred to walk away."

Was it any better? Maura squinted her eyes in an effort to weigh up the pros and cons of her remark. Her conclusion didn't turn out to be very satisfying, even less comforting. Of course, it wasn't any better if _BostonAvenger01_ had decided to run away the moment she had seen her. It was actually even more humiliating.

"Oh, please. What kind of person would turn you down after seeing you? You're gorgeous." Grace grabbed a mug and took a sip of tea. "You pretty, pretty face... What's your username, by the way?"

The silence that followed loudly betrayed Maura's embarrassment. Grace's question was fair and yet she, Maura, wasn't sure that there was something more ridiculous than a username. Grace would probably make fun of her and it would be deserved. Completely deserved.

" _Tsiga_Poloth_... It's an anagram for..."

Grace raised a hand to interrupt her. She slightly leaned forward before offering a half-convinced pout to Maura.

"For 'pathologist'. Yes, I've got that. Whatever." A sigh passed her lips. "So you stayed there alone for the rest of the evening? This is depressing."

Depressing. Embarrassing. Humiliating. There were too many ways to define what Maura had just gone through. The possibilities were endless.

"Jane actually showed up and we talked until the cafe got closed."

Maura would never thank her friend enough for showing up. Of course, Maura had been afraid of a face-to-face between Jane and _BostonAvenger01_ but she had understood after a while that it wouldn't happen. At least Jane's presence had soothed the bitterness of her slight disappointment.

"Jane? The Jane I met? What was she doing there?!"

The shrug that followed Grace's question didn't have the expected effect but then what was Maura supposed to say? She and Jane had never gone to this cafe before. It was a coincidence and nothing else. Nothing else at all.

"She was in the neighborhood and she suddenly felt like having a coffee." An apologetic smile ironically lit up Maura's features. "What do you want me to tell you? It wasn't my lucky day."

Unless it was, actually.

The idea floated in her head for a little while but she preferred to not pay attention to it. She had too many things to deal with right now; too many disappointments and questions that remained unanswered.

"Has she sent you a message to apologize?"

Two people walked by the corridor. Their laughter caught Maura's attention. She quickly cast a glance from her desk to the door left open ajar before focusing back on Grace. Her lack of enthusiasm at the prospect of answering was clear enough but it didn't seem to discourage her college friend nonetheless.

"Jane?" Maura frowned, confused by the question. "Why would she send me a message? Why should she apologize? She hasn't done anything wrong."

On the contrary. Jane had come to the rescue without even knowing anything about Maura's latent despair. She had been a blessing. She always was a blessing, actually. Maura simply didn't say it out loud.

"No, idiot. I'm talking about _BostonAvenger_ -whatever. Has she sent you a message to apologize, to explain why she didn't show up?"

Maura looked down at the keyboard of her laptop then shook her head. It was the first thing she had checked the moment she had come back home. Sadly her inbox had remained empty and nothing had changed later on, in the morning.

"She's a good person, I mean it. I'm sure she has her reasons, something must have happened; something must have prevented her from showing up. I hope she's fine, actually."

What if she had had an accident? Being the chief medical examiner of the state suddenly had its advantages. At least Maura knew that _BostonAvenger01_ hadn't tragically landed on an autopsy table at some point during the night. Her autopsy schedule was clear of any patient right now.

"Let's hope so... Or else she's the biggest bitch in the whole virtual universe."

A genuine smile embraced Maura's lips. There was something comforting in Grace's straightforward attitude; something funny. And it was exactly what she needed now.

"Thank you."

" _Oh mais de rien !_ *" Grace playfully winked at Maura. "Now tell me if Jane is still talking about me. There's something incredibly satisfying in the idea of having an admirer in another country. It's romantic."

That was the exact reason why Maura should have never introduced Grace to Jane. She should have known better. A decade as a Swiss medical examiner wouldn't change anything to the Machiavellian Grace Maura knew.

"She isn't an admirer, Gracie. You have traumatized her. Nuance."

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I hope I still can call you 'my friend'. I don't understand what happened last night, why you didn't show up as we had planned. I was there, I waited for you. I hope that you are doing fine though, that nothing happened to you._

 _I could elaborate a thousand scenarios to try to justify your absence at the cafe but I guess I prefer to simply trust you. You must have had your reasons._

 _Please let me know that you are here, somewhere. Please let me know that I still mean something to you. I don't want to renounce unless you want to. I honestly don't know where this friendship will lead us but I need to be tell you one thing: I enjoy reading your messages in the morning, sometimes I even read them again in the evening. If you were to depart, to take your distance with me, then I would respect your choice yet keep you in my memories._

 _There is nothing virtual about the good things you have brought to me._

 _..._

 _Oh mais de rien : oh well, you're welcome_


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: Thank you for your reviews; to the anonymous reviewers who aren't happy: 1. as said in the description, this story is based on a movie plot so the déjà-vu feeling is quite logical (You've Got Mail is just your typical rom com) 2. if you do not like the plot then feel free to complain to the person who wrote it in the first place, three-time Oscars nominated N. Ephron (though you might need a Ouija board to reach her since she passed away in 2012).**

 **Chapter Ten**

No matter what she desperately tried to do, Jane irremediably ended up walking by her laptop; her bloody laptop. Its dark screen only managed to emphasize the guilt she had started feeling the moment she had run away from Maura as well as a cowardice she could easily explain but not excuse.

She had stood her best friend up, for Christ's sake.

And by best friend, she meant the only person in her life who always made sense; the one she thought about when she woke up in the morning and went to bed at night. If Maura ever happened to disappear, Jane knew that she wouldn't be able to overcome it. It wouldn't be a tragedy but the simple end of her very own existence here on this planet.

Due to the bad weather, her morning walk with Jo Friday had been postponed and they both had hurried back to Jane's apartment as soon as the dog had been done. The issue was that there was not a lot to do on a snowy day of February.

February, 1st to be more exact. January had flown by, carried by the delicate frenzy of this friendship _BostonAvenger01_ had developed with _Tsiga_Poloth_.

"And now what?" Jane looked at Jo Friday. She began to bite her thumb nail, hoping that her nervousness would go away as easily as it had showed up. It was vain though and she knew it. She knew it way too well. "What am I supposed to tell her?"

It was delicate, to not simply say 'awkward'. Even if she wasn't ready to admit it out loud, Jane knew that she probably saw in _Tsiga_ something more than just a friend. As a matter of fact, her online friend's identity really made sense because Maura had always been the only one able to stir up this kind of emotions within Jane's heart. Yet she couldn't simply blurt it out like that.

She had to weigh up the pros and the cons, she had to think about a near future and what her moves would mean; the consequences they would cause. She had damaged too many things already to rush into whatever was happening without trying to analyze the situation first, now.

Her fingertips began to burn. She rolled her eyes then sighed in abdication before sitting down on the couch and turning her laptop on: she had to send Maura a reply. She had postponed it for too long.

Of course, she had already read Maura's message; the one she had sent the night before once she had gone back home. As a matter of fact, Jane now knew it by heart. The words had kept on dancing in her head throughout the night, stealing her sleep as guilt had eaten her up until the first hours of the morning.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

Jane paused and stared at the cursor of the mouse for long seconds. The words wouldn't come. Everything stayed trapped inside her head, lost in the mess of her heart.

 _I am... In Washington. For work. I am trapped there. We were at a meeting and... And there was no way for me to reach you: no phone signal, no web connection. Nothing at all._

Oh, what on Earth? Jane rolled her eyes then immediately deleted her first sentences. She couldn't lie to Maura. Besides, it wasn't the solution. She had to face her responsibilities, she had to be honest.

At least writing a message would still be easier than handling a face-to-face somewhere.

 _Dear friend,_

 _There is no excuse for what I did to you last night. I had given you hopes and I ruined them one by one. Please accept my deepest apologies. A friend was supposed to come, instead I left you alone with a thousand doubts._

 _We will meet one day, I have certainly not renounced to that. You are way too important into my life for me to turn the page so easily._

 _I don't deserve you though, not after what I've done. But if our friendship still means something to you then please accept these few words in the meantime: I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to do what I did._

...

"Alright: what do you want for your birthday?"

Her head leaned against the palm of her hand, Jane raised an unconvinced eyebrow. She wasn't very enthusiastic at the prospect of speaking about her birthday. She honestly thought, deep inside, that she didn't deserve the slightest gift. Yet Maura seemed to think the exact opposite right now.

"Oh God, not that." Jane rolled her eyes. "You've got twenty-two days left, Maura. Just... You know..." Jane shrugged. "I don't need anything."

Except her, except Maura. Jane needed her more than anything in her life.

The thought caused her to blush. She immediately tried to hide behind her curly hair for she didn't want her friend to see her reaction. The vulnerability that rose within it made Jane feel uncomfortable. She wasn't supposed to be fragile.

"Then if you don't need anything, perhaps there is something that you _wish_ you had..." The smile that played on Maura's lips turned out to be sweeter than expected. She was in a good mood, after all. _BostonAvenger01_ had sent her a message and even if Grace had found it to be quite vague, Maura had recognized the bare sincerity that distinguished her online friend. She was satisfied of it. "A present doesn't have to be a need, it can simply be..."

Getting a birthday present for Jane always turned out to be more complicated than what Maura assumed. She was never sure of anything and the zillion ideas she had hardly made her eyes sparkle with delight. Besides, she wanted the best for her friend.

Nothing else.

"Then give me a star." Jane sat up to make some room as the waiter arrived with their plates. She waited for him to leave again before resuming her talking. "I've always wanted a star. You'd have seen my disappointment when uncle Larry told me we couldn't reach them like that."

The anecdote was sweet. It made Maura smile.

"I could name one after you. Many people do that, actually. It is a symbolical gift. Would you like it?"

The smile Jane tried to give Maura never really reached her eyes. Outside of belonging to Asshole Galaxy, she didn't think that she deserved such privilege. _BostonAvenger01_ and _Tsiga_Poloth_ had resumed their online conversations but the guilt Jane felt wouldn't go away. It didn't have to, anyway. She had to feel bad for what she had done. She entirely deserved the excruciating pain she felt whenever she locked her eyes with Maura's hazel ones.

"Let's just skip it, please."

The whispered plea didn't get the expected effect on Maura. She suddenly squinted her eyes then tilted her head. Her fork in her hand, she stared at Jane for long seconds. A veil of incomprehension was covering her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

Maura didn't want a nod. She was hoping for words, for a proper explanation even if she knew that Jane would never dare to rely on her at a restaurant. A public place was not the best spot for a confession of any sort. As a matter of fact and now that she was observing her friend, Maura realized how tense Jane seemed to be.

Something was wrong, something she had shamefully missed until now.

"Hmm." Jane put down her fork. Even the food was tasteless. She held back a jump of surprise the moment she felt Maura's hand on hers. "It's just... Winter."

The contact was bare, burning. Jane pretended to close her eyes but she actually stared at Maura's hand through the curtain of her eyelashes. She wished time had got suspended. Then she would have fed herself of the heat of Maura's body and nothing else would have mattered anymore.

"Perhaps you should slow down a bit. It is never good to be too stressed." The name of _BostonAvenger01_ brushed Maura's lips for a tiny second but she immediately swallowed it back. She wasn't sure that talking about her online friend would entertain Jane the slightest bit. "Would you like me to give you a massage after dinner?"

As innocent as the offer was, Maura couldn't help thinking that many people would have smirked the moment she had suggested it to Jane. There was something daring, something very intimate in the idea of giving someone a massage.

"That'd be nice."

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _They have announced a very last snow storm for the weekend. Isn't it the perfect moment to stay home, in bed, and let the hours pass by while sipping on a hot chocolate?_

 _You know... Just slow down a bit, for once; with a good book or a movie. Or even with a friend, with someone who means a lot to you._

Maura pressed 'enter' rather quickly without taking the time to proofread her message nor editing it. She shut down her laptop then walked on her tiptoes to the room next door.

Jane was there, peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed. Outside the wind was blowing hardly: the snow storm had started. Maura smiled: everything was just as it was supposed to be.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: Thank you for the reviews and messages! I'm dealing with the bureaucracy right now, that's why it's taking me so long to reply to the PMs.**

 **Chapter Eleven**

Maura's hazel eyes began to describe a very slow ballet from right to left. Her lips formed a pout, a rather unconvinced one. She finally straightened up then shrugged at Jane who was standing on the other side of the kitchen counter.

"I am skeptical. Really skeptical."

Jane held back the semblance of a smirk. Her friend's reaction was exactly the reaction she, Jane, had anticipated. She now simply had to use her arguments one by one to make sure Maura would change her opinion. Easy.

"It's just a goldfish, Maura. I asked the girl at the store and she told me Bass wouldn't mind." The salesperson had turned out to be a student who had very few knowledge about animals but Jane preferred to keep this detail for herself. "Isn't it cute? It's like Nemo! We have a Nemo now!"

Maura looked at the fish again and wrinkled her nose. The present had taken her aback for she had never told Jane that she wanted another pet in her house. Yet her friend had just showed up with a rather active goldfish in a small fish tank; the round type.

" _Carassius auratus_ , to be more exact." Which was the most common goldfish around. It had very little to do with Nemo. "I suppose I could name it Moby Dick."

The reference to the novel written by Herman Melville caused Jane to smile. It was the sign she had been waiting for: Maura was warming up at the idea of a pet addition. It would be theirs, Maura and Jane's goldfish. Of course, it had to become a resident of Beacon Hill since Jane barely spent more than seven hours per day, or better said per night, at her own place. Maura's house was better, a lot better.

"You won't regret it!"

Jane walked to the fridge and picked a bottle of beer, relieved to see that she hadn't needed a lot of time to convince her friend. She could now sweep away the list of arguments she had prepared in case Maura would show resistance.

The goldfish was part of Jane's blurry plan to link the virtual world to the real one. She had spent the last few days thinking about a way to let Maura know about her online identity and even if she hadn't completely accepted yet the peculiar feelings she had developed for her friend, she nonetheless was now able to face the whole thing.

The rest would come by itself, little by little.

"Thank you and..." Maura leaned over the kitchen counter to have a look at the small fish that was going around in its tank. "Welcome home, Moby Dick."

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I left a peaceful home in the morning only to come back a few hours later to an addition to my family. It wasn't planned at all but it is now going around in circles in my kitchen, reigning over the room with all the quietness a goldfish shows._

 _Its name is Moby Dick._

 _Have I ever told you about Bass? It is an African spurred tortoise, my best companion for the past eleven years. I hope Moby Dick's presence won't confuse him too much: tortoises love their routine, they don't necessarily do well with lifestyle changes. Bass and I lead a very quiet life. I doubt Moby Dick will cause much trouble but it still makes me anxious._

...

"You share the same bed, it's Friday night and she's currently having a shower in _your_ bathroom?" The gasp that passed Grace's lips betrayed a latent sarcasm; a harmless one though. "Next thing I know, the two of you will go to _Ikea_ to buy furniture together!" As her joke fell flat, Grace widened her eyes in disbelief. "Oh boy. You've already done that, hmm?"

Maura moved on her seat, out of an obvious discomfort. Her nervousness was such that her heart was beating fast and her hands were moist. She cast a quick glance at the bathroom door that Jane had left open ajar then pursed her lips at Grace. She wasn't in the mood for innuendo. If Jane walked in on her in the middle of the conversation she was having with her college friend then Maura would die of shame.

"This is what friends do... When they're... Together."

It wasn't entirely true and Maura knew it. She simply didn't want to admit it. The friendship she shared with Jane was more and more ambiguous but she didn't see herself put a sudden distance between the two of them. She enjoyed what they had way too much to do that.

Was their friendship some sort of addiction? She had felt the urge to ask for _BostonAvenger01_ 's opinion on the matter but she hadn't found the words to describe the situation. Besides, she was afraid that her online friend would take it badly. Of course, Maura was free to have a life outside of _Boston Loves You_ but if she began to mention Jane, she was convinced that her virtual friend would turn jealous.

She didn't want to lose what she had built with _BostonAvenger01_.

It would happen though. The moment she would meet her online friend, Maura knew that she would have to make choices because it wouldn't be compatible with the exclusive bond she shared with Jane. She dreaded it more than anything.

"Why won't you accept the fact you have feelings for Jane? It's mutual, you know. Or else she wouldn't be at your place on a Friday night."

Maura closed her eyes to sweep away better Grace's words but it didn't work out. Her college friend's statement passed underneath her skin instead and caused her lips to curl up in a bitter smile.

She was too tired to talk about it, to have this kind of conversation; especially with Jane being in the room next door. There was a part of truth in what Grace had just said but Maura refused to acknowledge it. The consequences were too big, too dangerous.

"Do you have snow in Zürich?"

The question was rather pitiful and only emphasized Maura's cowardice. She looked down at her keyboard in shame and swallowed hard. Grace laughed quietly.

"You need to stop running away from your life, Maura. You deserve to be happy... Like anyone. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that everything's going to be alright."

The bathroom door got opened. A single glance from Maura let Grace understand that their Skype session was over. Both women disconnected from the site without a word.

"Which movie do we start with?"

Maura shrugged at Jane's question. She set her laptop down on her bedside table then checked the fish tank to make sure that Moby Dick was alright. She had insisted on spending the night with their new companion; just in case. It might just be a fish, it still mattered to Maura: Moby Dick probably needed a time of adaptation to its new surrounding.

The remark had simply made Jane roll her eyes.

"Anything but a scary movie, please. All this snow... We're stuck inside. I don't want to immerse myself in a scenario that could happen in real life on a snowy night of February."

The snow storm had hit Boston a bit earlier during the day, just as planned. Maura had invited Jane to spend the weekend over in the hope to reproduce the fantasy she had mentioned in one of her messages to _BostonAvenger01_.

Jane had immediately accepted and this was how Moby Dick had actually made it into her life.

"Oh." Jane settled on her side of the bed. She turned her head and raised an eyebrow at her friend. "You're in a rom com mood, right?"

This was definitely not the kind of movies Jane liked watching but with Maura by her side, she could easily make an effort and throw herself in a romantic comedy marathon of some sort. She knew that Maura was a sucker for this genre even if she categorically refused to admit it. Her stubbornness was quite cute, to the point Jane always made sure to tease her friend about it.

"I am not..." Maura adopted a similar position in bed to her friend's own one. She locked her eyes with Jane's before shamefully focusing on the shape of her lips. The bare distance that separated their respective bodies was ambiguous. She swallowed hard. "I just don't think that watching _The Shining_ on a snowy night is the best idea we can come up with."

A chill ran down Jane's spine as Maura's breath accidentally embraced her neck. Time got suspended, for brief but burning seconds.

She then immediately sat up and grabbed the remote control. She had had to fight for months to make Maura install a television set in the bedroom. She still saw it was one of her biggest victories in the townhouse.

"Alright, let's find a compromise."

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _An African spurred tortoise surely is an uncommon pet. A faithful one. Sharing eleven years of your life is a lot more than what most of people get to experience themselves. I understand why you consider Bass as your companion. You can't but build an inalienable bond throughout a whole decade._

 _I am glad to know that you are never really alone even if the presence of a tortoise must be a rather quiet one._

 _With the purchase of a pet comes a whole list of responsibilities. There is nothing more significant than deciding to add a new pet member to a family._


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages, it's a pleasure to read and answer them.**

 **Chapter Twelve**

They had stopped talking. Maura didn't want to become paranoid but she was certain that Susie and Frost had put an abrupt end to the conversation they were having the moment she had walked into her office. An uncomfortable silence had even spread over the room and the smile that now played on her lips wasn't enough to clear the singular atmosphere the three of them were trapped in.

She had interrupted them, the expression on their respective faces betrayed this sentiment of embarrassment one feels when caught in the act.

"Would you like some coffee? Unless you prefer to have a cup of tea...?" Maura cast a glance at the clock on the wall. She didn't have time to lose in paranoiac scenarios. Her assistant and Jane's colleague had been talking about something they didn't want to share with her and so what? "I also have cookies... I mean, shortbreads. Do you like them?"

A discreet nod answered her question.

Perhaps she should have let them know that this little secret meeting had nothing to do with their jobs, that her desire to talk to them in private was simply driven by Jane's upcoming birthday. Susie and Frost looked a bit uncomfortable on her couch, if not just terrified by the unknown reason of their presence in the office.

Maura walked to the door and closed it behind her. She didn't want anyone to walk in on them. Though her move got a drastic effect on Frost who stared at Susie Chang in despair.

"It's okay." A light laugh passed Maura's lips. "I just want to talk to you about Jane's birthday. You haven't done anything wrong..."

Anyway if Frost had done something then Maura didn't have her word on it. She wasn't his boss, after all.

"You want me to talk to you about Detective Rizzoli?" Susie Chang's voice sounded blank. The young woman raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I'm not sure I know her as well as the two of you do."

Maura brought three mugs of coffee as well as a plate full of shortbreads. She motioned the drinks then sat down in an armchair. It had taken her a little while to organize this secret meeting. Working in the same building as her best friend wasn't necessarily easy when you wanted to make sure that she wouldn't show up at the worst moment.

"I still want you to attend the little party I'm planning for her, that's why you're sitting here right now." Maura took a sip of her coffee before offering her employee a friendly smile. Susie Chang couldn't dread her so much, could she? Maura was convinced that she was a nice boss, the kind of employer you could rely on. "I need your help, actually. The two of you... Vince and Angela will help me too but it would have been way too suspicious if I had asked everyone to show up here at the same time. You know how Jane is... She hates birthday surprises."

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _My birthday is coming soon. I don't mind the idea of turning a year older – who is really touched by this kind of things? - but I nonetheless don't like celebrating it. My birthday childhood memories aren't the greatest ones, they have always been made of silent disappointments and crushed dreams. It's been better lately, thanks to someone I'm really close to, but I'm still not really eager to walk back home to spend the evening with a dozen of well-known faces. It's not my thing._

 _I'd love something quiet though, something intimate. I don't need the balloons, I don't need the music. I don't need a ton of presents nor some cake people will barely eat. I've reached a stage of my life when all I want is this comfortable silence we can share with someone who has importance in our heart. Do you see what I mean?_

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvengers01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I completely understand what you are talking about because I am exactly alike._

 _I have never felt fine among a crowd. There is this feeling, this oppressive feeling, that clutches to my throat and makes me wonder what I am doing here. I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person but sometimes I wonder why I was born. I don't make much sense in this life, in this society. I don't necessarily understand the purpose of my presence here._

 _This is what I feel when my birthday comes up. I don't belong in here._

 _Perhaps it is time for you to let your friends and relatives know what you really want on this day. Isn't it supposed to be a special one, anyway? We shouldn't have to make an effort on our birthdays just to please other people. It should be the exact opposite, no matter how selfish it seems to be._

...

"Come with me."

Jane grabbed Maura by the hand before speeding up the pace of her steps. The weight of her friend's online message had particularly touched her. She had always known about Maura's difficulties to fit in but she hadn't assumed until now that the wounds could be so deep.

Going through the message had been tough for Jane, extremely tough.

"Where are you taking me to?" Maura's innocent laughter rose in the pale blue light of the evening. She hadn't had time to go back home and change in more casual clothes. Jane had asked her to meet in the South End just after work. "Slow down, I'm wearing heels."

The icy asphalt glimmered under her feet. The low temperatures had turned the sidewalks into dangerous ice-rinks.

Something had happened in Jane's head the moment she had looked up from her computer, just after having read _Tsiga_ 's message. She had stood up absentmindedly then walked to the mirror of her bathroom where she had spent long minutes observing her reflection there.

Then it had made sense, in the warmest way one could ever dream of.

She was in love. She had no idea why now – why Maura – but it was there and Jane didn't even want to fight it back. A part of her was scared but she knew that it would be alright. It had to.

She wanted to take Maura in her arms, to rock her to sleep to soothe all these scars her friend rarely talked about. She wanted to kiss her, to spend the rest of her life by her side. She wanted all of this and would do everything she could to get it.

It had simply happened. All these feelings, these uncontrollable feelings Jane couldn't explain were there and if she wanted to be happy then she knew that she had to fully embrace them.

Maura was a woman and so what? Maura was Maura and Jane didn't need more to know that it was what really mattered in the end. She was in love with someone, not with a gender. It was Maura's personality that she liked; her odd temper, all of this.

She didn't mind about the rest. She didn't mind at all.

"You..." Maura squinted her eyes at the building in front of which Jane had stopped. She looked at her friend, surprised. "You are taking me to a gay bar?"

Her heart suddenly skipped a beat. Had Jane talked to Grace recently?

Maura trusted her college friend but she also knew how good Grace was at pushing people to understand a couple of untold things. She swallowed hard, not really knowing what to say. If this was Jane's way to let her know that she was fine with her sexual orientation then it was really unexpected.

"What?!"

Something crumbled on Jane's face; the lightness of the moment, probably. Maura watched how her friend's graceful features suddenly deepened at the mercy of a palpable fear.

"There is a rainbow sticker on the door." Unable to break eye-contact with a livid Jane, Maura briefly motioned the aforesaid door. "It's okay, you know."

Jane's dark eyes landed on the door. She remained still and silent for long seconds before bursting out laughing. Casual; she had to look casual. She ran a hand through her hair before shrugging away Maura's remark. Something told her that her attempt to look casual had just miserably failed. Thankfully the darkness of the night was playing her favor right now.

"We're going to the first floor."

Which didn't belong to the bar. Jane grabbed back Maura's hand, with a little less confidence this time though, then led her friend towards old wooden stairs.

"Is there really something in here?" Maura frowned, annoyed by her own remark. She hadn't had time to check the address. She simply knew that they were in the trendy neighborhood of Boston, the one artists loved going to. "What..."

Maura's question died the moment she walked into a room only to realize that she was surrounded by portraits of Virginia Woolf.

"It's going to be _your_ birthday, Jane. Not mine..." First Moby Dick and now the infamous _Virgina Woolf Society Club_ that used to hold meeetings in the most uncommon places of Boston once a month. Maura knew how hard it was to get an invitation for the meeting was very private. The media talked more and more about it but nobody knew who the members were apart from the fact they were all women who spent two hours a month reading out loud fragments of the author's work; Maura's favorite author. "It's..."

Jane didn't reply. She simply motioned two available seats then let Maura choose one. Something oddly ached in Maura's heart, something she didn't want to deal with right now: a couple of loud feelings that shamefully made her heart skip a beat whenever Jane was by her side.

She didn't need a reminder for she was well aware of the fluctuations of her heart.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews.**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

Under other circumstances, Jane would have remained quiet but the words had forced their way to her lips; they had fought to hit the air in the hope to relieve a frustration she didn't know how to handle. She cast a timid glance at her colleague, embarrassed by her own confession.

Frost had turned up to be her confidant for a hundred reasons she didn't want to talk about.

Besides he knew for _Tsiga_Poloth_ , after all. It made sense she told him about the real nature of her feelings for Maura since she felt the urge to speak about the whole thing. He was the only one aware of her secret, the only one she could trust as well for the moment.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to tell her that you're _BostonAvenger_?"

 _I am in love with her. I am in love with Maura. I don't understand why but I know I can't fight it: it's there, it sticks to me._

She wasn't sure to understand this strong desire to put words on her current state of mind, why she had let Frost know that she had feelings for Maura. Was she looking for advices? Did she want to be comforted? Jane had no idea whatsoever yet it felt incredibly warm to have someone who knew what really lie within her heart.

"I think I need time." She had expected this kind of question from her colleague. Frost's curiosity was fair. "I can't blurt it out like that... I don't want to. It has to be smooth, and sweet. It has..." Jane ran a hand through her hair. It was hard to put words on such personal feelings. She didn't feel at ease. "We can't rush into things, that's why I'm thinking about this plan..."

It wasn't a plan per se but the slow evolution that an online friendship needed to finally adapt to real life. The context was unusual and she couldn't afford to ruin everything. Finding out about _Tsiga_ 's real identity had been a shock for her, it had to be different for Maura.

"What kind of plan?" Frost grabbed his bottle of beer then took a short sip of his drink. "Is the goldfish you got her part of it?"

Maura had told him about Moby Dick a few days earlier when he had showed up at her office to pick up a couple of medical files related to a case he and Jane were investigating. He hadn't made any remark even if he had found Jane's move to be telling. What his colleague had just told him only confirmed his first thoughts regarding it.

"Sort of." Jane shrugged. The more it went, the harder it was for her to look at Frost in the eyes. She felt a bit stupid, too vulnerable. "It's not easy to let someone know that you don't want to be... To just be _that_ friend."

Covering Maura with presents was not what she had in head either but she hadn't found any other way to try and get closer to her friend until now. It was awkard but Jane was convinced that, little by little, Maura would be able to read through all of this. Hopefully.

"Do you think it's gonna work out?"

Her hoarse voice disappeared behind a veil of uncertainty. The question had passed her lips before she had had time to even realize what she was saying. Her unexpected boldness caused her to look down. She felt mortified.

"I think the two of you are meant to be." A peaceful smile embraced Frost's lips. "Don't be worried, Jane. It'll work out."

Frost's kindness didn't reach her much. She forced a nod then hid behind her beer. There was nothing easy about what she was about to do, absolutely nothing.

"Sometimes I wonder what'd have happened if I haven't signed in on this website..."

...

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I walked by Boston Common ice-rink today and it made me think about you, about all these things you like in Boston during the winter. I even observed the crowd and started wondering if you were there, if you were one of them..._

 _I would like to meet you. This isn't a whim but a personal need I cannot really explain. I hope that you won't take it badly._

Maura stared at her computer screen. The words seemed to own a strange authority that she didn't know what to do of. She almost felt intimidated by them, actually. A shaking index finger brushed the edge of the 'Enter' key.

She bit her lower lip.

The last time she and her online friend had settled on a date, everything had failed. She wasn't sure she wanted to live such fiasco again. And then there was all the rest. The evolution of the friendship she shared with Jane bothered her as well. Something was happening, she could feel it; something she couldn't name.

She pressed 'Enter' almost without realizing it. The words disappeared from her screen and she found herself back on her inbox page. She checked the names on the list: nobody but _BostonAvenger01_ had tried to reach her for the past two weeks. It was oddly relieving.

Signing up on this dating website had never turned out to be very successful. She had had a couple of dates but nothing relevant had come up from them.

Until _BostonAvenger01_.

Maura heavily sighed. Why did it have to happen now? She felt trapped between two worlds, at the intersection of two roads from which she had to choose the one she wanted to follow. Except she didn't want any of this; she didn't want to discard one to keep the other one by her side.

"There has to be a solution." Her hazel eyes stopped on Moby Dick. The fish was peacefully enjoying a quiet day in its small tank. "If only..."

The rest of her sentence never reached her lips. She preferred to swallow back the words and close her eyes instead. The fantasy she had in mind was ridiculous and vain. She couldn't allow herself to nourish hopes if she didn't want to end up agonizing of an excruciating pain.

"Good evening, Maura." Angela closed the patio door behind her. She hadn't bothered putting on her winter coat to cross the patio. Her cheeks were red though. Temperatures were low. "I've got a call from that pastry chef and he's okay: the birthday cake's booked!"

At least some good news. Maura smiled at Angela. She shut down her laptop with a terribly fake casualness then poured a glass of wine for Jane's mother.

Angela's presence was a blessing very few people seemed to understand. Besides, she wasn't as intrusive as Jane could say. Maura had found in her friend's mother the confidant she had always lacked of until now. Angela's advices were wise, and balanced.

Except this time Maura didn't manage to let her know about the delicacy of her problem.

"Excellent. Now I hope that Jane will like it..."

Life was a bit stressful and Maura hadn't had a chance to focus on Jane's upcoming birthday as much as she wanted to. The Virginia Woolf evening had confused her, as well as a whole series of little elements that tended to leave her slightly perplexed. Added to the ambiguous correspondence she shared with her online friend, her days were filled of an endless list of unanswered questions.

"Of course, she will! My daughter can be grumpy at times but she doesn't mean it. She likes all these things... Don't be worried."

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _We are going to meet, I can promise it to you. However I am currently in a situation that requires a few adjustments._

 _As soon as everything settles down, we will find a date – as well as a place – and BostonAvenger01 will finally meet Tsiga_Poloth; as it should be._

A few adjustments? Maura frowned but tried to not obsess over her friend's wording. They had always remained very vague about their private life, after all. So it was only fair to see _BostonAvenger01_ not give much details.

It had its charms; these rules they had imposed themselves in January sort of spiced up their friendship.

 _Are you available for a chowder tomorrow at 1pm?_

 _Jane_

It was 11.45pm but receiving a text message from Jane so late didn't surprise Maura the slightest bit. They hadn't seen each other today. It always threw their balance off when it happened.

 _I'm supposed to be at the courthouse by 3pm._

 _Is that okay for you?_

 _Maura_

Attending a trial was not something Maura enjoyed that much but it was part of her job and she couldn't turn it down.

 _12.30pm Seaport District, I'll give you the address later on._

 _Jane_

It was a neighborhood they rarely went to. A smile curled up Maura's lips at the prospect of spending some time with Jane far from the BPD and far from her office.

She didn't mind coming across well-known faces but she also appreciated the anonymity of a different place once in a while. She liked the intimacy that came from it.

Especially when she happened to be with Jane.

 _Perfect... Good night!_

 _Maura_

Jane smiled as the text message appeared on her cell phone. She replied to it then turned the lights off before settling in bed to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages, it's really sweet of you.**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Jane quietly closed the door behind her. She walked to the corner of the patio where Maura was sitting then settled next to her friend on the old bench they had bought at a flea market in the summer.

The night was particularly cold and slightly windy, she started shivering.

"I was looking for you."

Stifled voices rose in the background; as well as laughter and music. The sweet cacophony that reigned inside the house contrasted with the deep silence of the patio. Jane looked up at the sky and let a loud sigh pass her lips: the night was clear, stars were glimmering over Boston.

"I needed some fresh air."

Maura's whisper melted into a brief smile. Her hazel eyes barely stopped on Jane before focusing back on an invisible point in front of her. She had suddenly felt trapped and dizzy inside. The low temperatures of the evening had burnt her lungs but at least she didn't have the sentiment that she was about to pass out anymore. She felt fine again; somehow.

"You're okay?" Jane's features deepened as a wave of concern rushed through her veins. Maura wasn't the kind of person who easily complained: whenever something wrong happened to her, she kept it all inside. Jane didn't like it for she knew it wasn't right. "Do you feel sick or something?"

"No..." The lack of enthusiasm caused Maura to look for a better explanation. It was Jane's birthday, she couldn't afford to worry her friend. "I just like some quietness at times. I am fine. Do you like your cake?"

The grin that played on Jane's lips reached her dark eyes in no time. She nodded then huddled against herself as a gust of wind icily brushed her nape. She should have grabbed her scarf before going out.

"Very much. I owe it to you, right?"

The question was purely rhetorical. The moment she had seen the cake, she had known that the idea was from Maura. Nobody else knew about her childish wish to own a star. The pastry chef had done a great job though: nine little cakes were supposed to represent each planet of the solar system while a few muffins played the role of stars.

A milky way birthday cake: Jane loved it.

"I"m sorry I didn't name a star after you though." Maura cast a glance at the sky then apologetically shrugged. "You don't really need one to shine in my life anyway."

The second part of her remark caused Jane to swallow hard. The words seemed to remain in suspension in the air for long seconds, dancing a ballet of some sort in the darkness of the night. The confession lacked subtlety but then Jane had the feeling that Maura didn't want to be implicit. For once she felt like being loud, loud with all the elegance she was capable of.

"Thank you."

Jane slid a hesitant hand towards her friend's. As Maura showed no resistance, the gesture grew bolder and Jane tightened the discreet embrace. She put an end to her contemplation of the sky then locked her eyes with Maura's hazel ones.

Something stopped the moment Jane leaned over and planted a kiss at the corner of Maura's lips. All of a sudden, they ceased to hear the joyful brouhaha in the background. The temperatures rose and the darkness of the night turned paler.

"Ah! There you are... Your mother's looking for you, Jane!"

The sound of the door getting opened made them jump with surprise. Korsak's brief appearance put a definitive end to whatever had been going on. Jane stood up, almost relieved to take her distance with Maura, then began to stutter.

She had no idea why she had just kissed her friend in such an intimate way. She wasn't under the influence of alcohol nor anything. Yet her gesture didn't make much sense. Her embarrassment reached its apogea the moment she realized that she was still holding Maura's hand tightly. She cleared her voice, tried to get control over the whole thing again.

"Looks like I should go now."

She turned around and walked inside, pushed away by an invisible wind of cowardice.

...

"She kissed you?"

Maura pouted. She didn't know what she hated the most: Grace's fair question or her very own ridiculous reaction. Why did she feel embarrassed by Jane's kiss? They had shared many personal moments in the past, this one was just another one. It was just a kiss; a completely innocent kiss.

Or not.

"Well, it... More or less. I mean she..."

Grace raised a hand to interrupt her friend. She stood up, motioned a door on her right then leaned over the coffee table to come closer to her computer. A smirk appeared on her lips, a smirk that Maura knew way too well.

"Hold on, I'm going to make popcorn. It seems like I'm going to need it right now."

It took Maura long seconds to realize that her college friend was joking. What was it that the closest people in her life tended to be so sarcastic? She still had a hard time understanding Jane's humor, even after all these years.

She was too literal and hated it.

"This isn't funny!" Alright. Maybe it was; just a tad. Maura pursed her lips to pretend to be offended. Her subterfuge didn't work out but at least she had the satisfaction to tell herself that she had tried something. "I'm... Something is happening and I'm not sure to understand what it is."

Unless she simply didn't want to accept a truth that made absolutely no sense to her.

She looked down at the keyboard of her laptop and let a heavy sigh pass her lips. She felt lost, deeply torn by a thousand things. Of course, she had noticed a shift in Jane's attitude but she wasn't certain at all to properly understand her friend's motivations. The clearer the change of behavior was, the most incomprehensible it seemed to be for Maura.

Did Jane really want something from her? Something more intimate than a friendship?

"I don't get where the problem is, Maura. She's cute, give her what she's looking for. She's definitely hitting on you." Grace had sat back on her armchair. Her nonchalance was irritating for Maura's current state of mind was the exact opposite. "Of course it would be easier if there weren't your online friend, hmm? Maybe she's married."

"What?!"

Grace shrugged. Her remark didn't seem to bother her, she actually found it fair. It wasn't a possibility they had to discard right away.

"Why not? It's a dating website, Maura; not a confessional booth. Most of people on these sites aren't as single as they pretend to be. Have you ever asked her?" The lack of reply caused her to roll her eyes. "Jane or this mysterious avenger thingie..."

"She isn't a _thingie_."

The wink Grace offered betrayed a high level of entertainment. She was obviously enjoying her time right now, much to Maura's despair.

"You hesitate between the two of them, don't you?"

Maura's heart skipped a beat. Why was it so easy for Grace to put words on something she, Maura, refused to admit? She couldn't keep on hiding behind a fake ignorance. She knew that it wouldn't work out.

"If only it were Jane..."

It almost sounded like a plea; a quiet, painful one. She ran her tongue over her lips then finally found the courage to look up at Grace. The nonchalance had disappeared from her college friend's face, swept away by a silent kindness a bitter smile seemed to carry.

"If only life could be so easy..."

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I am afraid this will cross implicit boundaries we have followed and accepted until now but the words keep on burning my lips. I need to ask you about something._

 _Do you mind? I honestly don't think I should ask you but... I cannot help myself. Perhaps it will help me. The truth is that I am going through a blurry phase and I need... I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know where I stand._

 _I need help._

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I am honestly surprised by your hesitation. I thought that our bond was such by now that you felt confident enough to ask me anything. You know you can, you know that I won't take it badly. If there is any way I can help you then please, don't hold back yours words..._

 _Speak to me._

Maura raised an eyebrow then blinked. She wasn't very convinced by her online friend's message. Something told her that _BostonAvenger01_ simply tried to be polite. As a matter of fact, Maura was convinced that she had scared the hell out of her with her stupid "may I?/I shouldn't".

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _Of course, I trust you. Of course, I trust what we have. It is just that I am afraid to sound intrusive and it is the last thing I want to do to you. I know it is a bit late to ask but... Are you married?_

Maura sent her message and immediately shut down her laptop as if to run away better from what she had just asked. Following Grace's advices hadn't been the brightest idea she had had lately.

Something told her that she would regret it one way or another.

"Jesus Christ... You're so stupid!"

A strong frustration pushed her to walk towards the kitchen except she didn't go for a glass of wine. No, not this time. The situation was such that she definitely needed something stronger right now. Without thinking twice about it, she grabbed a bottle of whisky and poured herself a generous glass.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, I'm glad to see you're liking the story so far. It should come to an end rather soon now (I don't know how many chapters are left).**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

Grace's eyes widened until her lips formed a perfect "oh"; a quiet one. Her silent reaction took Maura aback. How was she supposed to interpret it? She wasn't good at guessing. As a matter of fact, she hated it. Barely hiding her impatience, she frowned and cleared her voice in the hope it would push her friend to speak. In vain.

"Would you care to develop, please?"

Her question turned out to be a lot more sarcastic than what she had imagined. A surge of pride caused her to straighten up on her seat. Needless to say that her confident state of mind crashed as soon as Grace opened her mouth. She should have known better; really.

"She didn't answer your question, she didn't tell you whether she was married."

Maura frowned. Her college friend's reply was confusing and she couldn't but disagree with her. She looked down at the sheet of paper she had printed earlier at work and read _BostonAvenger01_ 's message for the hundredth time. She almost knew it by heart now but that was a detail that she preferred to keep for herself.

"Yes, she did!" She paused. "Of course, she did. Implicitly..."

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _You're asking me whether I'm married? Do you really think I would be on this website if I were married? I can't believe you're asking me such question._

 _Am I married? Hahaha Am I married..._

The truth was that Maura had even felt relieved when she had finally dared to open her online friend's message to read it.

She hadn't offended _BostonAvenger01_. As a matter of fact, _BostonAvenger01_ had been amused by the sudden question and the tone of her reply was rather playful; comforting even.

She had teased Maura the way Grace used to tease her; or Jane. There was something of Jane in the tone of this short message.

"No, she hasn't replied to your question. She's being humorous about it but she didn't give you a proper answer, I'm sorry, darling." Grace stuck out her tongue to make sure that Maura would get the lack of importance of their conversation. Their Skype sessions were supposed to be light, entertaining. "How is Jane, by the way?"

"She's fine. She's been working on an important case, lately."

As a medical examiner herself, Grace would understand what this meant: Jane and Maura hadn't had a lot of time outside of work. Their respective lives had been taken in the frenzy whirl of a stressful investigation. It happened, it was part of it, part of their job.

"Have you finally kissed her back? I'm sure she's dying for it."

Someone knocked on the door to Maura's office. She looked up and raised a hand to let her employee understand that she needed a couple of minutes before the imminent meeting. Her hazel eyes focused anew on Grace as she lowered her voice to make sure that her administrative assistant wouldn't overhear her.

"No, I haven't. I ahem... I have to go, now. Have a nice evening."

...

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings._

They were back to their odd normality, to these little nothings they sent each other but that, once assembled together, made a lot more sense than what Jane had ever got to experience.

She hadn't expected Maura to ask her whether she was married for it absolutely didn't fit her friend's temper. After a few minutes of hesitation, Jane had simply come to the conclusion that a third party had probably pushed Maura to ask such thing. This meant that someone else knew for them, that Maura had a confidant too.

"Butternut." Maura stopped in front of a stand full of cucurbits. "We could make butternut soup, what do you think?"

The innocent question caused Jane to stop quietly thinking about their online correspondence. She looked at her friend then stared at the vegetables with perplexity. The indoor market was crowded and the thousand conversations that were going on at the same time created a joyful cacophony.

"Is it still the season?"

She had met Maura 'by accident' on a casual Saturday morning stroll with Jo Friday. Of course, she actually knew about her friend's weekend plans. Maura always went to the indoor market on Saturday morning if she didn't happen to be working. Maura was the least spontaneous person Jane knew: following her weekly schedule was a piece of cake.

Jane had simply made sure that they would come across each other. Then they would spend the day together; accidentally, casually.

"Well..." Maura tilted her head and pouted. The question Jane had asked her wasn't as ridiculous as it may seem. "It's now or never. Let's try it."

Jane nodded and immediately took her wallet out of the pocket of her jeans to pay the butternuts. Maura complained but Jane's stubbornness still won the battle. It was a date without being one, a moment of intimacy in disguise. A sweet one, perfect. They resumed their walking through the central alley until Jane motioned a crepe stand a bit further down the market.

"Let's have one, they're really good!"

There was something so light in Jane's behavior that Maura couldn't help smiling. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen such a happy smile on her friend's face. Jane's good mood was contagious. It warmed up Maura's heart with all the delicacy that untold words could bring.

"I didn't know that you liked coming here."

The bench she was sitting on was cold but she couldn't care less. The crepe she was holding in her hand was hot and warmed her up: everything was fine. Maura bit into it and immediately wipped the corner of her lips to make sure that chocolate wouldn't draw little dark paths on her cheeks.

Jane shrugged. She didn't want to lie but she couldn't afford to tell Maura the truth either; not just yet. She cast a glance at Jo Friday who had settled against her ankle then bit her lower lip. She hadn't really thought about that part when she had decided to go to the indoor market. She had only been focused on the fact that she would end up coming across Maura at some point.

Which had happened.

"I don't come here very often but... I don't know, it's a nice place."

It was. Families and young couples were coming and going in the alleys, enjoying the sweetness of the first day of the weekend. Jane liked the atmosphere that emanated from the place: it was singular, yet perfect.

"I like it very much. It's a very Bostonian spot."

Maura's remark surprised both of them. As much as Maura liked a lot Boston, it was Jane who usually made this kind of comment. Maura rarely talked about the city; not in these terms. Her love for Boston was a lot quieter, subtler.

"Not as much as Fenway, of course, but..."

Jane winked.

It had taken her years to get Maura to actually enjoy a baseball game. She still needed to work on her friend's ability to be a loud and exhuberant Red Sox fan but Jane was confident about it: Maura would get there at some point.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no-decision making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolute defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino._

"A tall decaf cappuccino."

Maura's quiet laugh didn't turn out to be as quiet as she had hoped for in the first place. The customer who had just ordered his drink stared at her as if she had lost her mind. She raised an apologetic hand then bit the inside of her cheeks to hold back a smile.

She and _BostonAvenger01_ had reached a new level in their friendship. They sent each other a lot more messages per day by now and the truth was that, when Maura didn't have time to reply, she felt like a part of her was missing.

And then there was Jane; Jane and their incomprehensible bond.

 _What if we met by accident next Saturday at the indoor market?_

 _Let's say 1pm... Is that okay for you?_

 _Jane_

The text message resulted enough for Maura to grin. She looked at the screen of her cell phone for a long time before replying to Jane's message. She hadn't planned on seeing her friend the day before but coming across her had turned out to be the best of coincidences. Of course, she had had to postpone some weekend activities and tasks but she didn't mind much. Time had flown by in Jane's presence, as it always did.

 _That's a deal._

 _Will you come over for dinner, tonight? I will make sure the butternut soup is ready._

 _Let's say... 6.30pm?_

 _Maura_

Who cared if she was torn between two people? The truth was that, in spite of this, Maura felt happy. Extremely happy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: Thank you for all your reviews (I can hardly write more than one chapter per day, sorry!)**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

"Chicken soup!"

Jane's unusual high-pitched voice caused Maura to jump in surprise. Or so. With the temperature she had, her reaction had been a lot closer to a cheap imitation of Bass than to someone taken aback by something. She forced herself to smile until she realized that it wasn't such a good idea: the irritation of her nose caused by her cold made the slightest attempt to a smile rather painful.

"You cooked it?"

Jane stopped right in her tracks. She raised an eyebrow at her friend, rather dramatically, before pursing her lips in an obvious gesture of disapproval.

"Just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to sound sarcastic." In all fairness, it was the very first time Jane prepared chicken soup; or at least real one. She usually stopped by some random place to buy some instead. Her dark eyes landed on the large bowl she was holding in her hands. She shrugged. "It looks edible." She paused. "I mean I guess."

She wasn't a bad cook, she simply lacked the patience it required. If the recipe took more than ten minutes then chances were that she would skip stages which would ruin the whole thing.

But not this time.

Nope. This time, she had gone as slow as required and had meticulously followed each line of the recipe that she had found online. Besides, it wasn't really a challenge as chicken soup was easy to make.

Her mother would be proud of her if she ever happened to see the soup.

Maura sneezed and grabbed a tissue from a tissue box that she had hidden under the blanket of her bed. She couldn't remember the last time she had been as sick as she now was. Her nose was stuff and running, her throat was sore and her eyes were teary. It was nothing serious per se but it had turned out to be enough to keep her in bed for the last couple of days.

"How's your cold?"

It was a pure rhetorical question. Maura looked like a zombie, an adorable one but still a zombie. Jane approached her friend then set the bowl of chicken soup down on the bedside table.

"It's just a rhinopharyngitis. I should... I should be..."

Maura sneezed anew and repeated the gesture she had made two minutes earlier. Two days at home and she saw absolutely no improvement. Unless she coughed a bit less? The thought caused her to pout: she was far from being convinced by it.

"Alright then please, have some soup. C'mon, eat. You need... Well, you know. You need forces."

Jane grabbed the bowl and sat down on her friend's bed. Hopefully Maura's germs wouldn't reach her one way or another because work was pretty busy right now. She was on a big case and couldn't afford to take a sick leave.

"Sure, nurse Janie."

The remark made Jane's lips curl up in a smirk. Maura's sense of humor had reached its apogea the day she had started taking some meds: it was cute and frightening at the same time.

Jane held out the bowl to her friend then settled better against the large pillows of the bed. Maura was sick but she still had made sure that the pillow cases would match the bed sheets. Some things would obviously never change.

"So how is going at work?"

By 'at work', Maura mostly means 'at her office'. She didn't have much of an influence on the BPD since they only called her when they needed her opinion on something. The pout Jane made didn't reassure her at all. Her friend seemed to hesitate for long seconds, as if she were looking for words that wouldn't completely scare her.

Needless to say that Jane's subterfuge failed.

"Not so good, I'm afraid. Your staff ran out of scalpels and a geek set the lab on fire so Chang decided to close the morgue until further notice." Jane shrugged. "No big deal, really."

Maura gently hit her friend's shoulder.

"How dare you, Jane Rizzoli... I am sick, you cannot play with my poor heart right now." Maura pursed her lips then took another sip of her soup. It was quite tasty, actually. "You're a monster."

If she had turned her head on time then Maura would have noticed the delicate smile that had embraced Jane's lips. It barely lasted a second but betrayed a lot more than words would ever say. Jane wasn't playing with Maura's heart: she was simply, desperately trying to let it understand that she would take great care of it.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _The snow has finally melted. The sidewalks are still damp and the sky at the mercy of a gray that doesn't seem eager to fade away but I am not a novice: I know what this disappearance means._

 _The winter is coming to an end._

 _The temperatures will start rising soon while the unique scent of the flowers will float in the air. The days will get longer as well. It is not that I don't like it but I guess my temper matches a lot more the fall and the winter._

 _What about you? What is your favorite season?_

Maura stared at the screen of her laptop but turned out to be unable to make a move. All she could say was that she particularly disliked the week she was having: she was sick, and stuck in bed. Life was going on without her and she hated it. She had fought so much these past few years to finally be part of this world that she could not accept the fact a few germs could so easily annihilate all the things she had built.

She needed to be patient.

A veil of pain spread on her face the moment she slid a foot out of the heat of the bed. She cast a quick glance at the window that she wanted to reach on the other end of the room then went to properly get up.

"What are you doing? Go back to bed immediately!"

Angela rushed to the bed and set the tray she was holding down on the bedside table just where Jane had left the chicken soup a couple of days earlier. Maura rolled her eyes but didn't complain. She was too cold to get out of bed now. She let Angela tuck her in then sighed.

"Has the snow melted in the patio?"

She had simply wanted to see it with her own eyes. It was the first time that she actually missed it. It made her feel a bit sad.

"Oh yes, it has. You'll be able to resume your gardening in no time." Angela touched Maura's forehead with her hand then settled the tray on the bed. "Are you hungry? You look better, today."

Maura shrugged. She didn't want to admit it but she deeply missed Jane. Her friend stopped by each day, in the morning and in the evening, but Maura couldn't help counting the hours that separated her from the moment Jane would pass the door of her bedroom. She always brought a litte, insignificant treat: a magazine, a bouquet of flowers. Fancy tissues.

"Hmm. I am rather looking forward to going back to work. Of course, I will have to catch back on many files and it will take a lot of my time but..."

The sigh that passed Angela's lips turned out to be so loud that it caused Maura to immediately stop talking. She widened her hazel eyes and stared at her friend's mother with perplexity.

"What is it that your generation is workaholic like that? Stop thinking about your job, Maura. Take advantage of these few days off to have a rest and... I don't know... Maybe to focus on your personal life a little too. You have one, you know?"

The remark really surprised her. Angela's tone of voice was warm and friendly but the message she was trying to pass was bitterly true. Maura looked down at the scrambled eggs in silence. Perhaps everything would get solved by itself if she remained quiet for a long time.

"I am afraid my germs keep me away from it right now."

The remark made Angela laugh.

"Your cold doesn't prevent you from making plans for the near future though. See? There's always something to look forward to!"

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _You made me realize that I didn't have any favorite season. I happen to like them all only for distinct reasons. I love the colors of the fall and the quietness of the winter. The symbol of spring makes me smile and the summer sun wraps me up in the loveliest way ever._

 _I wouldn't trade one season for another. Never. I may complain about the weather from time to time – who doesn't? - but deep inside I am glad to live in a world where the weather changes as the days pass by._

 _It's a real chance. Don't you think so?_

Making plans. Angela's words kept on haunting Maura's mind without never approaching the shape of reality. It wasn't that she disagreed with Jane's mother but she simply couldn't allow herself to imagine what the next months would look like. Her subconscious prevented her from doing it.

How long did _BostonAvenger01_ needed to settle her 'few adjustements'? They hadn't talked anew about the possibility of a meeting. It made Maura doubt a lot. Perhaps her online friend was simply trying to postpone it to a never.

Perhaps _BostonAvenger01_ didn't want to meet her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages; last chapter tomorrow, unless I write an epilogue for Sunday.**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

"Do you think we can fall in love with two people at the same time?"

Of course, Maura hadn't meant to ask. It was even the first time that she dared to put words on a feeling she had desperately tried to ignore until now. It had just come up though, all by itself; probably not at the right moment.

The silence that followed her question reassured her. At least Jane wouldn't make fun of her or else she would have already said something back. Maura took a sip of her vanilla tea then slowly turned her head to look at her friend.

Jane was staring at the old wooden table. Her face was blank, deprived of any feeling. She neither looked in pain nor embarrassed, just somewhat groggy.

"I wouldn't know as it has never happened to me." As the days were passing by, Jane was actually realizing that she had never really fallen in love with anyone before Maura. She had loved some people but had not been in love. The nuance was subtle but very clear for her now. Both notions couldn't be more different. "Maybe."

The semblance of a pout played on Maura's lips. She briefly nodded then hid again behind her cup of tea. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes to focus better on the multitude of sounds around her. The wood was crackling in the fireplace on her left, a woman was laughing somewhere on her right. Jane remained quiet, just in front of her.

So quiet.

"Maybe there are no rules. Maybe we are all wrong to think that everything can be so easily defined. What if life were more complex? What if all the things we know were nothing but lies?"

She honestly didn't mean to sound deep but she was feeling oddly melancholic. It must have been because of the rain, because of this gray that wouldn't leave the sky just yet. Her cold was behind her now and she had resumed her work at the morgue. Life had taken her back in its lovely whirl, for her highest pleasure. Yet something kept on bothering her.

"You've met someone?"

Jane bit her lower lip in a vain attempt to hold back her shaking tone of voice for it betrayed way too much what she shouldn't be saying out loud. She had tried to sound casual, even maybe humorous, but she had miserably failed.

She raised a hand to apologize.

"You don't have to ans-..."

Maura shook her head and loudly set the tea cup down on the wooden table. Jane interrupted herself, surprised by her friend's lack of discretion. It was unusual coming from Maura. The gesture spoke for itself. Maura was nervous, way too nervous to answer by a 'no'.

"I think I have, actually." Maura paused, just the time she needed to lock her hazel eyes with her friend's dark ones. The gesture turned out to be bolder than expected which made her swallow hard. "Yes, I think I have."

Jane raised an eyebrow with surprise. She was doing her best to keep under control the storm of feelings that was happening within her heart. She was on the verge of passing out. Maura was taking her aback; completely aback.

"Oh."

...

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _If you still want to meet me then I would be more than glad to do it. How about Saturday, at 4pm? There is a rose garden on The Esplanade... We could meet there. Just let met know if it is good for you, if you don't have any other plan._

"So you're gonna meet her. I mean..." Frost slightly leaned forward on his seat. He cast a glance at the room to make sure that nobody would overhear him. "I mean _BostonAvenger01_ is going to meet _Tsiga_Poloth_. At last."

The nod Jane gave him didn't turn out to be very convincing.

She was freaking out. The moment she had sent the message on the dating website, a latent fear had set off an invisible mechanism in her mind and she wasn't sure about anything anymore. For weeks now she had kept on postponing what nonetheless seemed irreversible then, all of a sudden, she had made sure Maura would be stuck in a virtual dead-end so she would hardly have a chance to turn down the invitation. There was nothing smooth in all of this.

"Yeah... I mean if she ever answers my message, that is."

Frost rolled his eyes and settled further on his armchair. He looked relieved and actually glad of Jane's decision. Something glimmered in his eyes; something warm and comforting.

"It's a pure matter of logistics."

Now that was a very man-ish answer from the young detective. Jane snorted and pretended to open a file on her desk as one of her colleagues walked by. Maura needed to reply to her. It wasn't an insignificant detail. It was actually the base of the whole thing. How could Frost see it as 'pure logistics'? It was the biggest element ever.

"What suddenly pushed you to do it? Of course, you've been very caring and full of nice attentions towards her but... Did she say something that let you get she was ready?"

Jane winced in mental pain. This was the part she wasn't particularly eager to talk about. She had always been aware that Frost would ask about it at some point but she didn't feel like celebrating either.

Maura was clueless, desperately clueless. Jane had multiplied the gestures of kindness, especially the moment Maura had got sick, but it didn't seem that it had reached her friend in the way she, Jane, wanted. Or at least not really. It was still rather confusing.

One day, everything seemed perfect for them to reach another stage of their relationship but the very next day did nothing but emphasize the exact opposite. It drove Jane mad, mad and insecure.

"She told me she had met someone." Jane swallowed hard. "Someone else. I think she was talking about... Well, about _BostonAvenger01_?"

"Oh."

At least Frost's monosyllabic answer sort of comforted her because she had given Maura the same lame reply when her friend had let her understand that she had indeed met someone.

Jane hadn't really known what to say, by then. The words hadn't managed to pass her lips. Under other circumstances, she would have probably teased Maura or would have even asked for details about this special someone.

She had remained awfully silent instead before a murmur of inaudible apologies had hit the air. She had made a fool of herself and was convinced to have failed in her role of friend.

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I would love meeting you, yes. I like a lot the rose garden of The Esplanade. I will be waiting for you there on Saturday at 4pm. How will I recognize you?_

"What about Jane?"

Maura frowned. A wave of remorse passed underneath her skin then rushed to her heart to hold it way too tightly. She shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

"What about her?"

She was just trying to win time but this was the kind of game she wouldn't win, not against Grace. She perfectly knew what her college friend meant, she just preferred to not think about it. She didn't have the courage it took to face it.

"Oh, whom are you trying to fool? Come on, Maura..." Someone called Grace off-camera. The woman dismissed the person right away then focused back on the computer screen. "All the things she's done for you lately... All these dates-without-being-real-dates... It means something."

Of course, it did and Maura knew it. She simply didn't manage to come to any conclusion, to make the mere choice. She was stuck in a dead-end and couldn't work a proper way to find a solution.

She wasn't indifferent to Jane. Of course, she wasn't. Just as she had noticed the efforts her friend kept on doing towards her. They were flirting, more or less innocently. But then she wasn't indifferent to _BostonAvenger01_ either. There was something that irremediably seemed to attract her to her online friend; something that she couldn't explain.

"Maybe it'll be easier once... Once I've met her."

She hadn't gone with her online friend through half the things she had lived with Jane and she knew that it would weigh in the balance; that it definitely turned on Jane's favor. But it wasn't enough. If Maura didn't meet her online friend, she was certain to regret it for the rest of her life and this wasn't something she was ready to accept.

"Why does your romantic life always have to be so complicated, Maura? Why?" A quiet, warm laugh slid on Grace's lips. She tilted her head then brought a hand to the screen of her computer for a virtual hug of some sort. "I wish you peace... You have no idea what an awesome feeling it is."

Maura smiled and rolled her eyes to hide better her sudden blushing. She could feel the heat on her cheeks. Grace's kindness was touching, honest.

"Maybe I'm simply not made for an easy life. I know it may seem weird and very... Surprising... But I sincerely think I wasn't born to be wrapped in a constant serenity. This is what these past few years have taught me."

But it was fine because she had Jane by her side.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"So you're meeting this person this afternoon?" Jane nodded at nobody but herself. "Wow." It was strange how Maura had suddenly opened up about the dating website but it surely comforted Jane in the decisions she had to make from now on. "May I ask you something?"

She hoped that Maura wouldn't see it as a lie nor as a trap when she would realize who _BostonAvenger01_ actually was.

Jane had simply needed some time to make sure that her friend had feelings for her too. She had remained polite, anyway; polite and sweet.

"Of... Course?"

Maura raised an eyebrow but the mischievousness she tried to show only fall flat. She was too nervous to pretend and try. She would finally meet her online friend, after all, and she knew how decisive it would be in her life. A part of her wanted to believe that everything would turn easy and that she would be able to choose between Jane and _BostonAvenger01_ without any problem the moment she would lock her hazel eyes with her online friend's. Reality imposed a very different version to her mind though and it kept on telling her that she may feel torn for a while.

"Is it a man or a woman?"

Of course, Jane knew the answer but she needed to hear it from Maura. She needed to hear her friend finally assume something that she had sort of hidden until now. It wouldn't change whatever was supposed to happen afterwards but it belonged to Jane's virtual bucket list, the one she had mentally written down the day she had embraced all these romantic feelings.

Maura froze, something flickered in her eyes; something dark. She pursed her lips and barely noticed the waitress' presence by her side. The restaurant employee delicately set the plates down on the table before wishing them to enjoy their meal. The words didn't reach Maura's ears for her heart was beating way too loudly.

"A woman." Her whisper turned out to be so low that she wondered for a couple of seconds whether Jane had been able to hear her reply. She looked down at her seafood plate before locking her eyes with Jane's anew. "I never slept with Grace."

Which was true though Maura quickly came to the conclusion that she had no reason in the first place to even say it. Her cheeks began to burn, she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Gosh... Whatever. I apologize." A vague gesture of the hand accompanied her last words as Jane remained desperately silent.

 _From BostonAvenger01 to Tsiga_Poloth_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I am so glad you have accepted my invitation. I will come with my dog and will be wearing a pair of jeans as well as a Red Sox jersey. I will have tied up my hair in a ponytail. I am sure that you will recognize me._

 _I am looking forward to finally meeting you. I know that it took us a lot of time, that I postponed it for more or less fair reasons but... But it doesn't change the fact I won't run away before taking you in my arms._

The spring had sprung and Beacon Hill had rarely looked so lovely. The trees were in full blossom and a bewitching scent emanated from them before disappearing up in a pure blue sky. Jane took a deep breath then plunged her hands in the pockets of her worn-out jeans. She and Maura had been very quiet on their walk back to Maura's house. Neither of them was embarrassed, they simply enjoyed the natural silence both could feel when together.

"I was... I was wonderin' about somethin'." Jane cleared her voice. Her tone was shaking and she didn't like it at all. She cast a very brief glance at Maura then stared at her feet. "If... If it doesn't..."

She stopped. She stopped talking and walking. They had made it back to Maura's house anyway and she knew that her friend wanted to get ready for her rendez-vous at the _Esplanade_. Jane also wanted to go back home to change. Jo Friday was waiting for her there.

Maura blinked then tilted her head. Her hazel eyes vanished behind the delicate curtain of her eyelashes as she squinted her eyes to observe her friend.

"Yes?"

Her voice was quiet and calm. She seemed in control of the situation which hadn't happened in a long while. As a matter of fact, she looked completely unaware of what Jane was about to ask her and it made things even more complicated for Jane.

Jane took another deep breath but the air seemed to refuse to fill her lungs. Her mouth was dry and her hands were moist. She wasn't feeling fine at all.

"I was wonderin'..." The sudden thickness of her accent betrayed the thousand feelings that made her feel dizzy. She didn't like it much but she knew that she had no hold over it. The reaction was natural, purely natural. She ran a hand through her hair then focused on a point down the street. "If there hadn't been any dating website... Would you have considered..." She swallowed hard. The words were there, on the edge of her lips; she could almost feel them. "Would you have considered putting an end to... To a romantic quest?" Her wording was a bit strange but she tried to not obsess over it. She was being honest and the rest didn't matter much in the end. A bitter smile played on her lips as she shrugged away the words she was about to say. "... 'Cause I'd gladly spend the rest of my life with you by my side."

Maura didn't notice it but she subconsciously held her breath. She remained still and quiet for long seconds before burning tears started making her vision blurry. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to show Jane how difficult it was, but holding it all inside was hard. Too hard.

"If there hadn't been anyone... Like... You know..." Jane looked down at her feet. "Maybe I could have been the one."

 _From Tsiga_Poloth to BostonAvenger01_

 _Dear friend,_

 _I will be wearing a gray linen dress; ankle-length. If the temperatures are a bit fresh, then I will probably have put on a cardigan as well. I won't tie up my hair._

 _You have no idea how eager I am to meet you._

...

Maura looked at her reflection in the mirror of the lobby a very last time before leaving her house. She took a deep breath then closed her eyes.

She wasn't sure that she had overcome yet what had happened two hours earlier on this same sidewalk with Jane.

What her friend had told was exactly what Maura had dreaded for she was unable to choose between Jane and _BostonAvenger01_. Of course, she hadn't remained desperately quiet but her very low ' _I think so_ ' had got lost in the uncertain wanders of her heart.

One thing at a time.

She started walking towards the _Esplanade_. It was a beautiful day and the sun caressed her bare arms comfortingly yet she was at the mercy of the biggest panic of her life. Excitement had melted into a strange confusion she didn't know what to do of.

And then there were these hopes, these silly hopes over _BostonAvenger01_ 's identity.

She made it to the green spot by the Charles River in no time. Her nervousness was such that it had made her speed up her pace subconsciously. She checked her watch as she reached the rose garden and realized that nobody in a Red Sox jersey was waiting around.

It was 3.55pm.

What were five minutes in a whole life? Absolutely nothing, nothing at all. Yet all of a sudden it seemed to turn into the longest countdown Maura would ever have to face now.

The place wasn't crowded but it wasn't completely empty either. Passers-by were strolling by the river, enjoying the warm temperatures of a near summer. Maura started twisting her hands out of nervousness. She wasn't paranoid but she was nonetheless certain that people were looking at her with perplexity. What kind of person stopped in front of the rose garden without even checking the aforesaid flowers?

She tried to focus on the roses for a couple of seconds but immediately failed. She couldn't concentrate on anything; not right now. She was way too busy checking on her right and on her left in the hope to see a Red Sox jersey appear out of nowhere.

The barking caught her attention first. She looked in the direction the sound came from and frowned. A dog was approaching but she couldn't see it.

"Jo Friday, come back here!"

A fluffy white tail suddenly appeared among the roses, soon follow by her owner. Maura widened her eyes in surprise as Jane showed up. An amused smile played on Maura's lips and she tilted her head, ready to tease her friend about her presence here.

And then it hit her.

She had never told Jane where she and _BostonAvenger01_ were supposed to meet. She had never told Jane that her online friend was supposed to wear a pair of jeans and a Red Sox jersey. Yet it was exactly the attire Jane was wearing.

Something made sense in her mind, something so strong and unbelievable that – by the time Jane reached her – Maura could barely hold back the sweetest tears that would roll up her eyes.

Jane took a tissue out of the pocket of her jeans and delicately pressed it against Maura's cheek.

"Don't cry, _Tsiga_Poloth_... Don't cry..."

As if the previous elements hadn't been enough, Maura's doubts definitely got swept away as Jane told her online name; the one Maura had never told her in the first place.

"I wanted it to be you... I wanted it to be you so badly."

Maura's voice vanished in a curtain of sobs that only the touch of Jane's hand on her forearm slightly soothed down. She locked her hazel eyes with her friend's dark ones then hesitantly captured her lips in a kiss that warmed up her heart and sealed the fate of their lives.

The End

 **Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and all the PMs you've sent me along this story. The next story will be about pre-established Rizzles thus it can easily be a sequel to You've Got Mail if you're eager to get more glimpses about Jane and Maura's life as a couple (I've only followed the movie scenario here so that's why it stops on their first kiss) or it can be a sequel to River, the previous fic I've posted. Please let me know, in your review or in a PM, which one you'd like the best. Though you need to know the story will be angsty and that it will not come back on their first months as a couple (or if it does then it will be indirect).**


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